Dwarr to tour for first time ever

[Update: Sadly, this entire tour appears to have been canceled. Maybe the world still isn't ready to fully embrace Duane Warr's genius. Or Duane isn't ready to fully embrace the world.]

That so-called Black Sabbath reunion? Whatevs. Van Halen + DLR? Fuck that shit. The biggest hard rock news of the year is this: Muthafuckin’ Dwarr is going on tour, bitches!

Yes, Duane Warr, the world’s most reclusive ’80s lo-fi doom-metal auteur, is actually leaving his South Carolina garage behind and hitting the road for a sadly brief but still bound to be fucking epic four-city tour. You can catch him in the following cities with Black Bananas (great name) and Magik Markers (less great, but we’ll accept it):

Saturday, May 12 – Austin, TX @ Red 7
Sunday, May 13 – Houston, TX @ Walter’s
Tuesday, May 15 – Atlanta, GA @ 529
Wednesday, May 16 – Durham, NC @ The Pinhook

Beyond that, we really don’t know a goddamn thing about this tour. Who besides Duane—a one-man band in his home studio—will be rocking it out under the Dwarr banner? Will the set list consist mainly of classic cuts from his recently reissued cult-classic albums, Starting Over and Animals, or does he have new material to unleash upon the masses? Are all his publicity photos (like the one above) from 1986, or has he really not aged a day in 26 years? Will anyone actually show up to see him in Durham? So many mysteries waiting to be unraveled!

We shall leave you with this recently unearthed and totally amazing video from Animals, circa 1986. If MTV had put this in heavy rotation instead of “You Give Love a Bad Name,” high school might have sucked less.