Watch Insane Clown Posse’s 19-minute infomercial for their new album, “The Mighty Death Pop”

OK, so you probably just read that headline and thought, “Dude, I couldn’t even make it through a 19-minute infomercial for Girls Gone Wild. How much Juggalo jackassery can I possibly take?” But before you totally blow off the awesomeness that is The Mighty Death Pop and its bomb-ass, Braveheart-length infomercial, check out these actual quotes from the video:

“…Dropping cluster bombs of flavor…”

“You like to take chances with your life? That’s good, because he like to pop deaths.”

“Version one has a red background, so we will call it Red Pop.”

“64 minutes of non-stop hoe flows!”

“…Special guests that will melt your brain until it seeps out of your ears…”

“It’s interesting as fuck.”

Now tell me you don’t wanna watch this shit. No, don’t tell me, cuz I don’t wanna hear it. Just watch, dammit! (Resist the urge to watch it stoned, though. Cuz then it really does have the power to stop time completely.)

So, to recap: ICP’s The Mighty Death Pop comes out Aug. 14th in three different versions. Also, the FBI now officially considers Juggalos to be a criminal gang. And white announcer dudes should never be forced to say “Efil4zaggin.” I think that about sums it up, actually. Maybe you didn’t need to watch the whole thing after all. My bad.