Author Archives: jakemanson

One of the members of Babymetal might have just left their first U.S. show in an ambulance

Babymetal

We woke up this morning more hungover than usual, because we spent last night trying to drink away the pain of missing a Babymetal show that was 10 fucking minutes from my house. It was the cute-metal trio’s first U.S. show and since some genius decided to book the most popular band on the Internet into a venue the size of my living room, it sold out in about three seconds. I’m sure we could have donated kidneys for tickets or something, but since Andy and I are both marginally employed at the moment, we decided to be responsible adults and sit this one out.

Well, it turns out that not only did we miss an absolute rager of a show, according to this review…we also missed some serious post-show drama. Although it hasn’t been confirmed by the band, several eyewitnesses saw an ambulance leaving right after the concert that was apparently carrying one of Babymetal’s two younger members, Moa and Yui. A detailed post on Reddit would seem to confirm that it was one of the girls. Hopefully it was just a little exhaustion or dehydration or headbanger’s whiplash and not something more serious.

Assuming all three Babymetallers are recuperated in time from last night’s show, they’re scheduled to continue their conquest of America with five dates salvaging the career of opening for Lady Gaga. Which makes it almost worth paying good money to go see Lady Gaga. Almost.

The Gaga/Babymetal dates are below, but first watch this promotional tour video, which is pretty much the new gold standard against which all future promotional tour videos will be judged. By the way, kudos to Babymetal’s backing band

Babymetal at Lady Gaga’s artRAVE : the ARTPOP ball

7/30 Phoenix, AZ US Airways Arena
8/01 Las Vegas, NV MGM Grand Garden Arena
8/02 Stateline, NV Harveys Lake Tahoe
8/04 Salt Lake City, UT Energy Solutions Arena
8/06 Denver, CO Pepsi Center

 

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Weird of the Day: Nudist Priest

Nudist Priest

Photo by Toni Wells

We really need to get out more. Apparently one of the most awesome cover bands of all time was based right here in Los Angeles up until 2007 and we missed them. I’m talking about Nudist fucking Priest.

So OK, this is one of your basic one-joke cover bands, but you gotta admit, it’s a pretty balls-out joke. Literally.

Here’s video from their farewell show. All I can say is, I really hope the drummer brought his own stool.

I’m not ashamed to admit that credit for introducing us to this band must go to the Comedy Central show @Midnight, which did a whole segment on weird cover bands a few nights back. They even included our pint-sized pals in The Mini Band, who we kinda hope never see this post. At least whoever shot that video of Nudist Priest’s farewell show was thoughtful enough to scramble the naughty bits.

Weird of the Day: Kid606, “Mr. Wobble’s Nightmare”

Kid606

We now present a public service announcement from Kid606 and his buddy, Mr. Wobble. Remember, parents, don’t let your kids go to those crazy underground rave parties. Those things are dangerous!

Kid606 is electronic producer Miguel De Pedro, originally from Venezuela but now based right here in L.A. You can hear more of his tracks on his SoundCloud page.

Quintron and Miss Pussycat are hitting the road with their inflatable puppet theater

Quintron and Miss Pussycat

It’s been two years since Andy and I got to see Quintron and Miss Pussycat do their swamp-tech-and-puppets thing here in L.A. and I can still see the headlights of Quintron’s Oldsmobile organ every time I close my eyes. But it was totally worth the hearing loss and retinal damage. They put on one helluva show.

So it is with great sadness that I must inform you that Quintron and Miss Pussycat have announced some fall tour dates. Why sadness? Because they’re not playing L.A. and I am a selfish prick. Fuck you, Winooski, Vermont! I hope the top of Quintron’s Drum Buddy flies off and smacks you right in the ol’ syrup sucker.

Word is that Mr. Q and Miss P will also have a new album out this fall, but we don’t have the details on that just yet. Word is also that Miss Pussycat has invented a brand-new inflatable puppet theater that fits in her purse. The press release didn’t specifically say that she’s bringing the blow-up puppets on this tour…but I mean, if they fit in your purse, why wouldn’t you?

The press release also mentions that Quintron spent some time earlier this year completing his latest homemade musical gadget, a drone synthesizer called the Weather Warlock that’s controlled by the weather. Maybe that’s why they’re not playing L.A….we don’t really have weather here. He needs to invent a smog-controlled synth next time. That thing would sing like a canary in our neck of the woods.

Anyway, here are those L.A.-skipping tour dates. Enjoy the show, ya bastards.

Sep 4 – Knoxville, TN- Pilot Light
Sep 6 – Lafayette, GA- Cherokee Farm
Nov 2 – New Orleans, LA- Voodoo Festival at City Park
Nov 7 – Memphis, TN- Hi Tone !
Nov 8 – St. Louis, MI – Firebird *
Nov 9 – Lawrence, KS- Replay Lounge *
Nov 10 – Iowa City, IA- The Mill *
Nov 11 – St. Paul, MN- Turf Club *
Nov 12 – Milwaukee, WI- Cactus Club *
Nov 14 – Chicago, IL- Hideout *
Nov 15 – Ann Arbor, MI- Blind Pig
Nov 16 – Cleveland, OH- Beachland Tavern
Nov 18 – Buffalo, NY- Buffalo Iron Works
Nov 19 – Toronto, ON- Horseshoe Tavern
Nov 20 – Ottawa, ON- House of Targ
Nov 21 – Montreal, qc – Il Motore
Nov 22 – Winooski, VT – Monkey House
Nov 23 – Portland, ME-The Space Gallery
Nov 25 – Allston, MA- Great Scott
Nov 29 – Brooklyn, NY- Baby’s All Right
Dec 1 – Asheville, NC- Double Crown
Dec 2 – Durham, NC- The Pinhook
Dec 3- Savannah, GA- Dollhouse Studios & Productions
Dec 4 – Tallahassee, FL- Club Downunder (FSU)
Dec 8 – Orlando, FL- Will’s Pub #
Dec 9 – Jacksonville, FL- Underbelly #

* w/ Babes
! w/ Manatees
# w/ White Mystery

Oh, and here’s a demo video of an earlier version of the Weather Warlock. Back then it was called the Singing House. Weather Warlock definitely makes it sound way cooler.

Chimney Crow’s new video makes me really not want to hang out with this Teddybear dude

Chimney Crow

Our pals Chimney Crow just released the fourth video from their album Chimney Crow Is a Band. It’s for the song “Teddybear and His Bullet” and it features a lightbulb microphone and some cool Christmas lights with crows in them, because you know, Chimney Crow. But I think my biggest takeaway from this video is that this guy Teddybear sounds like a real asshole. Walking around with a bullet all the time, always mooching off his friends. The dude even doesn’t like music anymore. What kind of tool doesn’t like music? What the fuck is wrong with this guy?

I guess there’s one good thing about Teddybear: He inspired this song, which is pretty groovy in a disco-night-at-the-goth-club kinda way. Nice work, Chimney Crow. But damn, find yourselves some better friends.

Tonttu

Tonttu

Did you know that Finland apparently has a huge gnome problem? Not that the gnomes are huge. The gnomes there are tiny, just like they are everywhere else. Finland has a huge problem with tiny gnomes, is what we’re saying. And don’t let those Travelocity commercials fool you. They’re evil little fuckers hellbent on the destruction of all we hold dear.

Fortunately, one band is spreading the truth about gnomes and working day and night to wipe these pointy-hatted little shitbeards off the face of the earth once and for all. They’re called Tonttu and they were the runner-up in our last Weird Band Poll. Why didn’t they win? Fuckin’ gnomes, man. They’re everywhere. They’re even skewing our poll results! Holy shit, that must mean they’re on the Internet now. We’ve got a huge hacker gnome problem. Not that the hacker gnomes are huge…wait, I explained this already, didn’t I?

Anyway, yeah, Tonttu. They’re led by a guy who calls himself the Tonttufindergeneral Hanz-Baal, with the help of another guy who calls himself Großinquisitor Rudolf Von Deer. They call their music “anti-gnomemartialindustrialneofolkmetal.” Most of it is basically just anti-gnome public service announcements delivered in Finnish over music that makes the Schindler’s List soundtrack sound like Katy Perry, although some of it also features maniacal laughter, which I guess is supposed to be what the gnomes sound like when they get together to talk about their plans to murder us all while we sleep. And one track kinda sounds like a Finnish Rammstein, which is pretty cool.

We don’t speak Finnish, but TFG Hanz was nice enough to give us some of the lyrics in English. Here’s a sample:

The most mythical leader of Gnomes, the lump of lard rising up to the sky, the drooling blasphemer Yog-Sothoth
Highest of High Gnomes, in his creepy disguise

The great deception of Christmas flying in the sky,
Dressed in white beard, red jacket
No one should be deceived by that fake beard anymore

Flying in the glow of Fireballs,
Flying from the depths of Mushroom clouds,
Flying in the shadow of deceit,
Taking instead of giving

So yeah, basically, the gnomes are up to some serious Lovecraft shit. We’ve all been deceived. We are victims of a vast gnome conspiracy. Trust no one. Even David fuckin’ Bowie is in on it.

I could be wrong, but I’m pretty sure your best defense against gnomes is to download one or more of Tonttu’s anti-gnome albums and play them on full blast 24/7. You can buy their two albums, Nekrognomekon and Anti-Gnomen Divisionen 4 (Mastering the fine art of gnome eradication), here and here. Or, if you want start eradicating gnomes for the low price of FREE, email us at weirdestbandintheworld@gmail.com. The first five people to do so will get free download codes from Anti-Gnomen Divisionen 4. That’s how much Tonttu want to protect you from the gnome menace.

We’ll leave you “Pääruoka,” which features that maniacal gnome laughter we mentioned earlier. Sweet dreams! Hope you don’t have one of those stupid little gnome night-lights. You may as well hang a sign on your bedroom door that says, “Kill me now with your tiny, tiny knives and feed me to your tiny, tiny reindeer.”

Links:

Let’s stick a fork in this World Cup with Donny Varper

Donny Varper

The World Cup is finally over, which means us Americans can stop pretending to care about soccer and the rest of the planet can get back to their lives. I must admit, I watched more of it than usual this year, but except for that one awesome match where Germany stomped Brazil into the turf, I watched most of it out of the corner of my eye while I was doing more interesting things, like scraping Cheeto dust off my couch cushions and trying to turn my vuvuzela into a beer bong. Jesus, world, could you maybe pick a more interesting sport to be obsessed over? Try golf or something. At least in that game, the ball goes into the hole once in awhile.

But yes, the World Cup is a big deal, the one sporting event that unites the whole planet and blah blah blah. So we here at Weird Band HQ would be remiss if we didn’t acknowledge it in some way. Fortunately, gay Nicaraguan leprechaun Donny Varper is here to help. Donny wrote a song in honor of the World Cup called “GOL” and as with all transmissions from the Planet Varper, it’s amazing. Can you feel that Cup in your heart, Germany?

So see you in four years, World Cup. I’m sure there will be plenty more Cheeto dust in my couch cushions by then.

Weird of the Day: Anton Maiden, “Can I Play With Madness”

Anton Maiden

Gnome-hating Finns and Weird Band Poll runners-up Tonttu wrote to us this morning and shared a link to an amazing, computerized cover of Iron Maiden’s “Can I Play With Madness,” created back in 1999 by a Swedish teenager named Anton Gustafsson, who called himself Anton Maiden.

Sadly, for Anton, the answer to the question “Can I Play With Madness” was apparently “Yes”: He committed suicide at the age of 23. But he left behind a huge and awesome collection of MIDI/chiptune Iron Maiden covers that continue to piss off purists and inspire nerdy headbangers to this day. If programmed synths can shred, then Anton Maiden’s are the shredmasters against which all others must be judged.

You can check out more of Anton’s stuff on his website (which is in Swedish, but you’ll figure it out).

Weird of the Day: Jute Gyte, “Semen Dried into the Silence of Rock and Mineral”

Jute Gyte

Black metal’s been around for long enough now that most of it isn’t really all that “black” anymore. Most of it is beige, formulaic bullshit, recycling ideas thoroughly explored by Mayhem and Emperor 20 years ago. Even Mayhem’s current guitarist, Teloch, told us recently that he’s stopped listening to black metal “since most albums released is shit.”

That’s what makes Missouri one-man black metal band Jute Gyte so awesome. Adam Kalmbach has figured out a way to make black metal interesting again: by adding microtones, those notes between the notes that you usually only hear in certain kinds of non-Western music. When you add those tones to black metal, suddenly the music is just as evil and ominous and disorienting as it was the first time you heard it.

Jute Gyre has cranked out a ton of material since 2002, but he just started getting into microtones of his last two albums. Here’s a track from his most recent, Vast Chains. Warning: may cause seasickness and/or feelings of utter despair.

For more Jute Gyte, check out his Bandcamp.

P.S. Shout-out to reader Yodeling James for reminding us about this guy. Definitely one of the few black metal artists pushing the envelope these days.

Weird of the Day: Andy the Doorbum, “Evocation: The Beast of Change”

Andy the Doorbum

For some reason, most of the really weird shit people are sending us these days is from North Carolina. Turns out there’s more to the Tarheel State than college hoops and vinegary barbecue.

The latest weirdo from the state that also gave us Your Fuzzy Friends, Surgical Vacations and Weird Band Poll contenders Emily Brontësaurus is a redneck singer-songwriter name of Andy Fenstermaker, who goes by the nom de weird of Andy the Doorbum. Most of Andy’s earlier stuff, as far as we can tell, is more quirky than weird, in sort of a Mountain Goats meets Tom Waits way. But he went off the fucking deep end with his latest video, “Evocation: The Beast of Change,” which we understand is the first track off his coming-soon album The Fool.

Not sure when The Fool drops, but he’s got a sold-out record release show this Friday, so it must be any day now. To hear more of his stuff, visit his Bandcamp page.

P.S. Our thanks to reader Eel for sending the “Evocation” video our way. You haunt our dreams, Eel.

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