I have to start off by thanking the guy who wrote us up on Metafilter last week, a website that apparently has the magical power to make even a half-assed music blog like ours more popular than catbeard photos. So thanks, narain! Hopefully by the time we post this, you and all the other Metafilterlings […]
For some bands, reinventing the wheel would be a form of sacrilege akin to watching an old bluesman suddenly bust out into Justin Bieber song. So we’re happy to report that Cryptic, the sixth album from undead funk-rockers Here Come the Mummies, is pretty much exactly what you’d expect from a band whose previous albums include such WYSIWYG titles as Single Entendre and Bed, Bath and Behind. There are songs are partying, songs about sex, and songs about how too much partying can lead to sex. It’s a sweeping epic about the human condition, really. Baz Luhrmann should buy the film rights.
You can listen to extended clips from all 12 of Cryptic‘s tracks right now on the revamped HCTM website, which has a slick new look and all sorts of interactive features (the fan photos from past shows are especially nifty). And speaking of interactive…here’s a live video of them performing the Cryptic track “Everything But” that was made using the French website Evergig.com, which splices together fan-shot videos into a seamless concert clip. Pretty high-tech for a bunch of dudes who’ve been dead for five thousand years.
Quick, what do Primus and The Hobbit have in common? If you answered, “they can both test audiences’ patience”…well, technically, you’re right, but that’s not the answer we were going for. No, they’re both in 3D, dude! Apparently last fall’s “Primus in 3D” tour was so successful, they’re bringing it back. Turns out Primus fans really love watching hallucinatory visuals that seem to distort space and time itself. Who’da thunk?
Anyway, here’s where Primus will be laying down the 3D jams this year. Except in places marked by an asterisk. You’ll have to settle for the low-tech, 2D version.
5/9 – Bottle Rock Festival – Napa, CA *
5/10 – Eureka Municipal Auditorium – Eureka, CA
5/12 – Revolution Center – Boise, ID
5/13 – Wilma Theater – Missoula, MT
5/14 – Shrine Auditorium – Billings, MT
5/16 – City Auditorium – Colorado Springs, CO
5/17 – Santa Fe Community Convention – Santa Fe, NM
5/18 – Rialto Theatre – Tucson, AZ
5/19 – Fox Theater – Pomona, CA
5/21 – Majestic Ventura Theater – Ventura, CA
5/22 – Fox Theater – Bakersfield, CA
5/24 – Cuthbert Amphitheater – Eugene, OR
5/25 – Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall – Portland, OR
5/26 – Sasquatch Music Festival – Quincy, WA
5/28 – Northern Alberta Jubilee Auditorium – Edmonton, AB
5/29 – McEwan Hall – Calgary, AB
5/31 – Burton Cummings Theatre – Winnipeg, MB
6/1 – Myth – Maplewood, MN
6/2 – Riviera Theater – Chicago, IL
6/6 – Mountain Jam Festival – Hunter, NY *
6/7-8 – Danforth Music Hall – Toronto, ON
6/9 – Niagara River Rocks – North Tonawanda, NY *
* – Not 3D show
In other Primus news: Remember that $5,000 video contest we told you about? Well, either you all suck and no one won, or the band is really taking their sweet time picking a winner. The contest supposedly ended Dec. 15 but as far as we can tell, there have been zero updates since. Could no one contain the awesomeness of “HOINFODAMAN” in a single, low-budget video? Where are Your Fuzzy Friends when you need them?
We’ve asked you, our soft-touch readers, to help out many a weird band via Kickstarter in the past. But this time around, we don’t need to ask. Yes, in just 12 days, Here Come the Mummies have already hit their Kickstarter fundraising goal of $50,069. So everything else from here on out is gravy—but hey, if you wanna give a bunch of horndog Mummies some gravy, be our guest.
All that coin is gonna help fund the release and promotion of Cryptic, the Mummies’ latest and greatest funk bomb of a studio album. It’s due out sometime in May and, as is usually the case, Kickstarter backers get first crack at it. Track titles include “Chaperone,” “Petting Zoo” and “You Know the Drill,” so we can safely assume HCTM have still not exhausted all the endless possibilities of their favorite topic, bumpin’ uglies. (And since these guys have been dead for 4,000 years, the emphasis is definitely on “ugly.”)
Click here to read more about Cryptic and watch one of those cute little Kickstarter videos; this one features the Mummies demonstrating how totally unqualified they are to hold down any kind of day job. We know the feeling, guys! Which is why I’m not sure Jake and I will be pledging anything this time around—although the custom voicemail greeting at $75 is mighty tempting.
Let’s play this post out with some live Mummies. If that’s not a contradiction in terms.
Hey, Primus fans! Put down the Dorito Loco Taco and listen up. This is important. Primus is asking fans to shoot the video for their next single, the annoyingly all-caps “HOINFODAMAN.” Maker of the best video wins five thousand bones and a place in music video history alongside such classic clips as “My Name Is Mud” and “Wynona’s Big Brown Beaver.” Your video probably doesn’t have to be that good…so long as it’s better than “Tragedy’s A’Comin,” you probably have a shot.
“HOINFODAMAN” is three minutes of pure Primus weirdness, including references to foot-long sandwiches and juicy burgers…so if you wanna get all literal on us, you could just film your friends pigging out on fast food. (Are you reading this, Zayde Buti?) We suspect something a little more creative is in order, however.
Hit up Primus’ website for more details on the contest (including the all-important video specs) or keep it here to enjoy the stoner-funk strains of “HOINFODAMAN.” And to all you budding would-be Finchers and Scorseses: Best of luck. We really hope one of you is this guy.
Oct 8
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I don’t mind telling you, it was with some trepidation that I went out to see Here Come the Mummies last Thursday night. And not just because they were playing at the House of Blues on the Sunset Strip, which is easily my least favorite part of Los Angeles. The strip used to be sleazy/cool, […]
You gotta set the funk free, don’t you? If that’s not a P-Funk lyric, it should be. With that in mind, undead funketeers Here Come the Mummies are making their latest album, Bed, Bath & Behind, free for a limited time (today and tomorrow only) via NoiseTrade. So get downloadin’ and savor the sweet, funky sounds of freedom. And be sure to leave a tip—which I guess technically means the album ain’t free any more, but tipping sounds more fun than paying, doesn’t it? Just imagine you’re sticking a few bucks in the Mummies’ Cowbelts.
In other HCTM news: The Bandaged Boys are gearing up for their latest U.S. tour, and Andy and I plan to be on hand for their L.A. show to shake a leg and give you, dear readers, a full report. Well, Andy will give you a report; I’ll probably be stumbling down Sunset Blvd. looking for a cab and wondering where my pants went. That bastard always ditches me after the 10th Jäger bomb.
I’ll play this post out with a live rendition of “That’s What She Said,” one of the many tasty morsels on that free album you should be downloading already. Enjoy.
Well, lookee here, campers. It says right here that the latest Primus tour is gonna be in 3D! That’s great, because that last tour where they just stuck cardboard cutouts of Les, Larry and Jay onstage was kinda bullshit.
No, but seriously: Primus’s fall tour dates will be “3D-enhanced,” creating what their latest press release promises will be a “one-of-a-kind psychedelic experience.” (Your mileage may vary, depending on the potency of those shrooms you saved from Bonnaroo.) We’re not sure if that means any 2Pac hologram cameos or what, but knowing these wacky fellows, anything’s possible. Oh, and the shows will also feature Quad Surround Sound. Dude! It’ll be as if Les’s bass strings are slapping against the inside of your skull.
Primus Tour Dates:
Oct. 12 – Poughkeepsie, NY – Mid Hudson Civic Center
Oct. 13 – Burlington, VT – Memorial Auditorium
Oct. 15 – Washington, DC – The Fillmore
Oct. 16 – Wilkes Barre, PA – Kirby Center
Oct. 17 – Philadelphia, PA – Tower Theater
Oct. 19 – New York NY – Hammerstein
Oct. 20 – Boston, MA – Orpheum Theater
Oct. 21 – Providence, RI – Veterans Memorial Auditorium
Oct. 23 – Niagra Falls, NY – Rapids Theater
Oct. 24 – Detroit, MI – Fillmore
Oct. 26 – Asheville, NC – Moogfest
Oct. 27 – Indianapolis, IN – Murat Theater
Oct. 28 – St Louis, MO – Peabody Opera House
Oct. 30 – Cincinnati, OH – Taft Theater
Oct. 31 – Atlanta, GA – The Tabernacle
Nov. 2 – Kansas City, MO – Uptown
Nov. 3 – Denver, CO – The Fillmore
Nov. 4 – Wichita, KS – Cotillion Ballroom
Nov. 5 – Dallas, TX – McFarlin
Nov. 7 – Austin, TX – Bass Hall
Nov. 9 – Orlando, FL – Hard Rock
Nov. 10 – Miami, FL – Fillmore
We’ll play this post out with Primus’s new-ish video for “Lee Van Cleef,” which premiered on Conan O’Brien’s Team Coco website back in May. Apparently we’re kinda out of it when it comes to Primus news. I blame the shrooms.
We’re not sure what mummies and auto racing have in common. But something about the stanky-sweet undead funk of Here Come the Mummies seems to have the folks at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway sold. After playing there last year for the 2011 Indy 500, they’ve been invited back for the 2012 edition of America’s most prestigious event that involves driving cars around in a big circle really, really fast. (So far, the only other confirmed musical act appears to be Lynyrd Skynyrd, who at this point are basically undead, too.)
I should probably point out that the Mummies are not playing the actual race itself, which happens Sunday, May 27th. They’re playing the “Pole Day Qualifications.” I was really hoping that’s some kind of stripper competition, but my one friend who actually cares about auto racing just burst my bubble and informed me it’s the day the drivers compete to see who gets prime position at the start of the race. “Pole Day” happens on Saturday, May 19th and unlike the Indy 500 itself, which is mostly sold out, you can still get tickets for it—for a mere 15 bucks—here.
The Mummies play the Coke Stage at 6:15 p.m. Wonder if Coke knows its corporate banners will be accompanied by a bunch of dudes in mummy costumes whose set list typically includes songs like “Attack of the Wiener Man” and “Libido Knievel”? We hear they do a “PG version” of their set for events like the Indy 500, though. Wouldn’t want to upset those God-fearing NASCAR fans. And yes, I know the Indy 500′s not NASCAR. Split hairs, why don’t you?
Let’s play this post out with a clip from the Mummies’ concert DVD, Undead Live. More cowbelt!
Funk-rock slap-bass fans rejoice: Primus is hitting the road again, playing not one, but two sets of weirdo jams on most of their spring tour dates. Those are the “An Evening With Primus” shows; on a handful of other dates, they’ll have either Gogol Bordello or Fishbone opening for them, which unless you’re a complete Claypool freak is almost as awesome.
Here are the full European and U.S. dates:
3/23 – Pordenone, Italy @ Palasport
3/24 – Brescia, Italy @ Pala Eib
3/26 – Fribourg, Switzerland @ Fri-Son
3/27 – Paris, France @ Zenith
3/28 – Antwerp, Belgium @ Trix
3/29 – Cologne, Germany @ Live Music Hall
3/31 – Lille, France @ L’Aeronef
4/1 – Eindhoven, Netherlands @ Klokgebouw
4/2 – Brussels, Belgium @ Ancienne Belgique (SOLD OUT)
4/4 – London, England @ Royal Albert Hall
4/5 – London, England @ Royal Albert Hall
*Pre-Sale for North American leg of the tour begins March 7
5/3 – Columbia, MO @ The Blue Note
5/5 – New Orleans, LA @ The Sugar Mill (with The Oddity Faire)
5/6 – Memphis, TN @ Beale Street Music Festival
5/19 – Huntington, NY @ The Paramount
5/20 – Syracuse, NY @ Landmark Theatre
5/22 – Pittsburgh, PA @ Stage AE (with Gogol Bordello)
5/23 – Columbus, OH @ LC Pavilion (with Gogol Bordello)
5/25 – Chillicothe, IL @ Summer Camp Music Festival
5/26 – Geneva, MN @ Bella Music Fest
5/27 – Milwaukee, WI @ Eagles Ballroom
5/29 – Nashville, TN @ Ryman Auditorium
5/30 – Tulsa, OK @ Brady Theater
6/1 – Springfield, MO @ Gilloiz Theatre
6/2 – Ozark, AR @ Wakarusa Music Festival
6/3 – Houston, TX @ Free Press Summer Fest
6/5 – Albuquerque, NM @ Kiva Auditorium
6/6 – Flagstaff, AZ @ Pepsi Ampitheater
6/8 – Los Angeles, CA @ The Greek Theatre (with Fishbone)
6/11 – Jacksonville, OR @ Britt Pavilion
6/12 – Eugene, OR @ Cuthbert Ampitheater
6/14 – Redmond, WA @ Marymoor Park
6/15 – Vancouver, BC @ Orpheum Theatre
6/16 – Spokane, WA @ Fox Theater
6/17 – Missoula, MT @ Big Sky Brewing
6/22 – Las Vegas, NV @ The Joint (with Fishbone)
6/23 – Santa Cruz, CA @ Santa Cruz Civic Auditorium (with Fishbone)
Claypool and the boys will also have a limited-edition 10″ single out soon featuring two tracks, “Jilly’s on Smack” and “Eyes of the Squirrel,” from their latest album, Green Naugahyde. The single will come in, of course, a green Naugahyde case. And yes, I capitalized Naugahyde because it’s a trademarked brand name. Do we teach you something new on this site every day or what?
We’ll play this post out with Primus’s funkerrific tribute to the great bad guy gunslinger Lee Van Cleef, as recently performed on Late Night With Jimmy Fallon. Which do you suppose Les has more of: bass guitars or wacky hats?
Good news, mortals! The Cowbelt, that formidable piece of musical crotch gear, once available only for Mummy use, can be now strapped to human hips for a variation on the cowbell so funky, Christopher Walken himself would weep to hear it. Your pelvic thrusts will be so funkified, members of both sexes will go weak at the knees around you. Or maybe they’re just doubled over in laughter. Who can tell? You’ll be so busy ringing your Cowbelt, you won’t fucking care.
For those not familiar with the awesome power of a fully operational Cowbelt, we offer up the following video of its creators, Here Come the Mummies, in fully Cowbelt deployment. Brace your ass, cuz it’s gonna wanna move.
Can’t wait to strap one on now, can you? So go order one of the first 100 from the HCTM website. They ship March 30th—a day the earth will probably wiggle on its axis from the sheer funkiness of it all.
More Cowbelt!
HCTM WILL BE IN MICHIGAN JULY 3RD, MUSKEGON AND JULY 13TH @ THE MACHINE SHOP IN FLINT. GREAT MUSICIA
That's a heck of a weird video!
Reblogged this on manbehindthecurtain and commented: I highly recommend that you all purchase CDs by
The dudes are frakkin amazing!
I was just listening to the bee gees song 'tragedy' in my mums car & wondered if anyones ever no
If by good you mean "less terrible than her Eurovision song"...I guess.
