Blog Archives

Behold Vulvatron, GWAR’s awesome new female lead singer

Vulvatron

The post-Oderus incarnation of GWAR continues to exceed our expectations. Instead of replacing the irreplaceable entity that was Oderus/Dave Brockie, the band’s reportedly totally revamped their stage show and added not one, but two new lead vocalists fill Oderus’ massive platform boots.

After unleashing Blothar on the unsuspecting masses at the GWAR-B-Q, they presented his female counterpart, Vulvatron, at Riot Fest in Chicago this past weekend. And she is pretty much everything one could hope for in a lady GWAR demon. She’s hot. She shoots blood from her massive breasts. She takes great selfies. And she fucks shit up with the boys. We’re sold.

Vulvatron’s human counterpart is one Kim “Kylla” Dylla, who’s just as much of a badass IRL, as the kids all say these days. Just check out her CV on her website: degrees in art and computer science, a painter and costume designer, wrestler, frontwoman of her own metal band Thismeansyou. She’s going to have human filth lining up around the block after every GWAR show hoping to be her disposable sex slaves.

Speaking of GWAR shows: The band’s also announced a massive, 45-date tour that’s also being billed as the band’s quest to find the missing Oderus. Here’s what guitarist Balsac the Jaws of Death says about the tour on the GWAR website:

“Dark clouds of war and ill omen have gathered around GWAR. In our hour of greatest peril, Oderus has left us and our enemies stand poised, ready to strike while they sense weakness. But we shall no longer cower in our Antarctic stronghold, awaiting Destiny’s final blow. This Fall GWAR sets out on the most trying quest of our career. We shall scour our leader’s favorite stomping ground, North America, leaving no city unsearched, no venue unraised, and no sheep unmolested. GWAR will venture to the depths of Hell or to the very end of Time itself, and though I fear what we may encounter out there, I know that we can never return home until we have the answer we seek: ‘Where is Oderus Urungus?’”

So what say you, GWARmy? Do you stand ready to help your demon overlords in their hour of need? Are you ready to get sprayed with blood from the almighty udder of Blothar and the unspeakable breasts of Vulvatron? Goddamn right you are.

Here are the dates:

GWAR W/ Decapitated and American Sharks:

10/15: Norfolk, VA @ The Norva
10/16: Sayreville, NJ @ Starland Ballroom
10/17: Stroudsburg, PA @ Sherman Theater
10/18: Worcester, MA @ The Palladium – “Rock and Shock Festival”
10/19: Buffalo, NY @ The Town Ballroom
10/21: Louisville, KY @ Expo Five
10/22: Memphis, TN @ New Daisy Theater
10/23: Dallas, TX @ Gas Monkey Live
10/24: New Orleans, LA @ House of Blues
10/25: Austin, TX @ Emo’s – “Housecore Horror Film Festival*
10/26: Houston, TX @ Warehouse Live
10/28: Oklahoma City, OK @ Diamond Ballroom
10/29: Sauget, IL @ Pop’s Nightclub
10/30: Lawrence, KS @ Granada Theater
10/31: Denver, CO @ The Summit Music Hall**
11/1: Albuquerque, NM @ Sunshine Theater
11/2: Tempe, AZ @ The Marquee
11/3: Santa Ana, CA @ The Observatory
11/4: Reno, NV @ Knitting Factory Concert House
11/5: San Francisco, CA @ The Regency Ballroom
11/6: Hollywood, CA @ House of Blues
11/7: Las Vegas, NV @ Hard Rock Live
11/8: Magna, UT @ The Great Salt Air
11/10: Boise, ID @ Knitting Factory Concert House
11/11: Portland, OR @ Roseland Theater
11/12: Seattle, WA @ Showbox SODO

GWAR W/ TBA and American Sharks:

11/14: Vancouver, BC and Commodore Ballroom

GWAR W/ Corrosion of Conformity and American Sharks:

11/15: Spokane, WA @ Knitting Factory Concert House
11/16: Calgary, AB @ MacEwan Hall Ballroom
11/17: Edmonton, AB @ Union Hall
11/19: Fargo, ND @ The Venue
11/20: Minneapolis, MN @ Skyway Theater
11/21: Milwaukee, WI @ The Rave
11/22: Detroit, MI @ Harpo’s
11/23: Grand Rapids, MI @ The Intersection
11/25: Indianapolis, IN @ The Vogue
11/26: Cleveland, OH @ House of Blues
11/28: Charlotte, NC @ Tremont Music Hall
11/29: Philadelphia, PA @ Electric Factory
11/30: New York, NY @ Irving Plaza
12/2: Nashville, TN @ Exit/In
12/3: Asheville, NC @ The Orange Peel
12/4: Pensacola, FL @ Vinyl Music Hall
12/5: Orlando, FL @ Firestone Live
12/6: Atlanta, GA @ The Masquerade
12/7: Columbus, OH @ Newport Music Hall
12/8: Millvale, PA @ Mr. Smalls Theater
12/9: Toronto, ON @ Opera House
12/10: Montreal, QC @ Virgin Mobile Corona Theater
12/11: Clifton Park, NY @ Upstate Concert Hall
12/12: New Haven, CT @ Toad’s Place
12/13: Baltimore, MD @ Baltimore Sound Stage

*No American Sharks
** Havok plays on this show

About these ads

Weird of the Day: Melvins, “The Talking Horse”

Melvins

In our write-up for Tera Melos, our reigning Weird Band of the Week, we noted that all of their brilliant music videos are the work of one man, a director named Behn Fannin. We decided to dive into the rest of Fannin’s catalog in search of further gems of weirdness and came up with this classic from punk/sludge metal legends the Melvins, from their 2006 album, (A) Senile Animal. Our new favorite video director Fannin’s been doing twisted things with creepy puppets and visual non sequiturs for a long time, it seems.

If you want to see more of Fannin’s work, check out his Vimeo channel.

Weird of the Day: Paysages Éphémères, “IV”

Paysages Ephemeres

A dude by the name of Dave Tremblay contacted us awhile back looking to swap links with his website, Can This Even Be Called Music. Because we’re flakes, we kinda blew him off…but yesterday, he emailed us again, and this time, there’s not enough flakiness in California (the Flake Capital of America™) for us to ignore his latest project.

As Dave explains it, Paysages Éphémères is an experimental grindcore project created entirely without stringed instruments. That means no guitar, no bass, no violins…just percussion, vocals, electronics and maybe a severed artery or two. He’s released four chapters so far out of a planned 53 and it’s all varying degrees of batshit weird. I hear some influences from other experimental metal artists like Igorrr and Jute Gyte, but Monsieur Tremblay is on his trip here.

Oh, P.S.: When you hear any vocals, that’s Tremblay reciting the Enchiridion of Epictetus, an ancient Greek Stoic text. So it’s educational as well as skull-crushing.

You can hear the rest of the project on Bandcamp. Dave released the first four parts in only a week, so check back often, because he seems to be on some kind of crazy roll with this stuff.

Weird of the Day: Puig Destroyer, “Mike Trout”

Puig Destroyer

Listen, I love baseball, but it is not the most metal of sports. Football, clearly…the American version, you Eurotrash bastards…football is the most metal sport, following closely by MMA and NASCAR. But that’s all the more reason to love Puig Destroyer. Here’s a bunch of guys who took one stupid pun and a love of the world’s most boring game and created the greatest grindcore band since…well, since Pig Destroyer, the band whose name they’re riffing on.

The other thing they’re riffing on is L.A. Dodgers center fielder Yasiel Puig, a great young player but hardly the most metal guy in the majors. He’s not even the most metal thing on the Dodgers…that honor still goes to Brian Wilson’s beard, even if the player attached to said beard kinda sucks these days.

So it’s about time Puig Destroyer finally…I mean, they’ve been around for a whole year now…finally recorded a song in tribute to the most metal guy in the majors, the Angels’ Mike Trout. Now this dude’s an absolute beast. Here’s a 489-foot home run he hit earlier this season. Even in the world’s most boring game, he’s fun to watch. And now he has a grindcore anthem worthy of his beastliness.

In case I wasn’t being clear: Yes, all Puig Destroyer songs are about baseball. Other titles include “First to Third,” “Destroyer of Baseballs” and my personal favorite, “Stop Fucking Bunting.” Seriously, guys, just knock it off. Your game’s wimpy enough as it is.

You can hear all of Puig Destroyer’s ball-themed mayhem on their Bandcamp page.

Weird of the Day: Hardcore Anal Hydrogen, “COI”

Hardcore Anal Hydrogen

I know we’ve been doing “Flashback Fridays” around here lately but I don’t care. This video is too fucking good to wait till Monday. Besides, it came out in February, so that counts as a flashback, right? Ah, Feb. 2014. The good old days, before Ferguson and ISIS and Robin Williams and Christ, what a depressing summer this has been.

Anyway, this is yet another French band from Apathia Records, the same lunatics who brought you Pryapisme. Hardcore Anal Hydrogen aren’t quite that out there, especially on this track, which is pretty straight-up post-hardcore with some fun tempo changes and electronic elements. But the video kills me every time. I almost hope the next metal band I see just sends cardboard versions of themselves onstage. It would probably be more entertaining than some shows I’ve been to.

You can find out more about Hardcore Anal Hydrogen on the Apathia Records website.

Weird of the Day: Deathgrind violin with Joey Molinaro

Joey Molinaro

Our buddy Folkicide told us to check out this guy Joey Molinaro who does something called “acoustic grind violin.” Intrigued, we clicked over to one of his YouTube and yep, this dude basically plays grindcore/death metal by himself with a just a violin, foot-stomp percussion and the occasional strangled vocal. The results sound like a cross between a mosh pit and a hootenanny, or maybe something you could call Appalachian folk metal. Check it out.

If, like us, you can’t get enough of this shit, there’s plenty more where that came from on Joey’s Bandcamp page.

As promised, GWAR gave Oderus Urungus a proper Viking funeral

Oderus Viking funeral

Another GWAR-B-Q has come and gone and while I’m sure all the bands rocked the fuck out and all, most of the talk has rightly been about Dave Brockie/Oderus and the fact that his GWAR bandmates really did, as promised, give the man a full-on Viking funeral. They put Oderus…or at least the latex monster suit formerly inhabited by Oderus…on a boat, sent it drifting out into the middle of a lake, and set it on fire with a fucking flaming arrow. Best funeral since Hunter S. Thompson? I would say so.

The whole funeral is up on YouTube. Lamb of God’s Randy Blythe delivered an excellent eulogy, and there’s some cool stuff with a girl dressed up like a Valkyrie waving a flaming sword around, but the whole thing is 52 minutes long and we know you people have short attention spans. So here’s the flaming arrow money shot:

Rest in peace, Oderus. Or better yet, rest in chaos and mayhem, because that was always more your scene.

This year’s GWAR-B-Q with feature a Oderus-less incarnation of GWAR

GWAR-B-Q 2014

So apparently GWAR will be performing at the fifth annual GWAR-B-Q in Richmond, Virginny, on Aug. 16th. And I’m not gonna lie…I have mixed feelings about this. When GWAR front-monster Oderus Urungus ditched Earth back in March, I kinda assumed it was the end of the line for his merry band of blood-spewing thrash-heads. But they’ve decided to carry on without him, which strikes me as the worst idea since Loutallica. But hey, talk me down from my ledge, Jizmak Da Gusha (from an interview with Metal Insider):

We have Mike Bishop, the original Beefcake bass player of GWAR. He’s coming back to fold to do some singing duties, but Balsac, Pustulus, Beefcake, they’re all singing. Cyborg, Destructo, Bone Snapper, all the GWAR characters have songs to fill in, and we’ve kind of taken the idea back to the original, old school, Scumdogs idea. Where Oderus, he was just the anchor, there were so many characters and so many different people singing songs, and so much action and gore and death on the stage in the old days that it wasn’t like it was more recently, where we stripped away all of that and made Oderus the focal point. The old Scumdogs of GWAR, there’s chaos everywhere, and Oderus is just the anchor to it. So we’re kind of going back to the old format, embracing it… I think people are going to respond to it. No one would respect us if we just threw another guy in the costume and said “Oh here’s Oderus’ replacement.” There is no way to replace Dave Brockie, not in a million years.

OK, I’m less scared now. A reunion of all former GWAR Scumdogs, with everyone taking turns on lead vocals? This could be good. It could be like a big GWAR circus, all honoring Dave/Oderus’ memory. OK, I’m totally in! Also, I may have just teared up a little. Sorry, GWAR makes me sentimental.

In addition to GWAR 2.0, the GWAR-B-Q is also going to feature such skull-crushing experts at Hatebreed, Goatwhore, The Misfits, The Meatmen, and fuckin’ Ice-T and Body Count. For tickets, go here.

In other GWAR news: Plans are moving ahead to open the first GWARbar in Richmond, featuring “intergalactic gourmet junk food” and, of course, GWAR-brand beer (start with the Impaled Pale Ale and switch to the Killsner when you’re too drunk to stand). GWAR’s own Mike Derks, aka Balsac the Jaws of Death, will be the chef. By the way, if you click that GWARbar link at the top of this paragraph, you will see that the name “Balsac the Jaws of Death” just got printed in the Washington Post. This makes us happy.

I’m going to play this post out with a classic clip of GWAR on The Joan Rivers Show sometime around 1990, partially because it gives you a chance to see Mike Bishop, the original Beefcake, in action. But mostly because it’s funny as fuck.

Babymetal update: They’re all OK (we think) and ready for those Lady Gaga dates

Babymetal

Yesterday we took a break from bitching about missing Babymetal’s first U.S. show to tell you that at said show, one of the kawaii metal girls apparently got carted off in an ambulance. Well, today, a Babymetal fan named Benjamin Hill tweeted us a link to the following post on the group’s unofficial fan site. We’re not sure of the source, so for all we know it’s completely made up. But given that it doesn’t flat-out deny the ambulance rumors, and chalks the whole thing up to heat exhaustion (and it was indeed brutally hot here in Los Angeles on Sunday), it seems plausible.

babymetal-update

For the record, the full post was slightly cut off. The end actually specifies that Babymetal will rock unsuspecting Gaga fans’ faces “off like a hurricane!” (You can read the full text of the post here.)

So for now, let’s assume the girls are all fine and ready to rock Phoenix tomorrow night. Where there will hopefully be better air-conditioning.

One of the members of Babymetal might have just left their first U.S. show in an ambulance

Babymetal

[Update: Today we received unconfirmed word that all three Babymetal girls are fine. If there are further developments in this story, we’ll let you know.]

We woke up this morning more hungover than usual, because we spent last night trying to drink away the pain of missing a Babymetal show that was 10 fucking minutes from my house. It was the cute-metal trio’s first U.S. show and since some genius decided to book the most popular band on the Internet into a venue the size of my living room, it sold out in about three seconds. I’m sure we could have donated kidneys for tickets or something, but since Andy and I are both marginally employed at the moment, we decided to be responsible adults and sit this one out.

Well, it turns out that not only did we miss an absolute rager of a show, according to this review…we also missed some serious post-show drama. Although it hasn’t been confirmed by the band, several eyewitnesses saw an ambulance leaving right after the concert that was apparently carrying one of Babymetal’s two younger members, Moa and Yui. A detailed post on Reddit would seem to confirm that it was one of the girls. Hopefully it was just a little exhaustion or dehydration or headbanger’s whiplash and not something more serious.

Assuming all three Babymetallers are recuperated in time from last night’s show, they’re scheduled to continue their conquest of America with five dates salvaging the career of opening for Lady Gaga. Which makes it almost worth paying good money to go see Lady Gaga. Almost.

The Gaga/Babymetal dates are below, but first watch this promotional tour video, which is pretty much the new gold standard against which all future promotional tour videos will be judged. By the way, kudos to Babymetal’s backing band

Babymetal at Lady Gaga’s artRAVE : the ARTPOP ball

7/30 Phoenix, AZ US Airways Arena
8/01 Las Vegas, NV MGM Grand Garden Arena
8/02 Stateline, NV Harveys Lake Tahoe
8/04 Salt Lake City, UT Energy Solutions Arena
8/06 Denver, CO Pepsi Center

 

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 292 other followers