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New Author and Punisher tour dates with Phil Anselmo, “Women & Children” album dropping next month
Photo by Marilia Maschion
Tristan Shone and his “Doom Machines” have been keeping busy. The man and the contraptions that make up the industrial/drone act Author & Punisher have just gotten back from a European tour and already they’re gearing up for the release of the fifth A&P album, Women & Children, which arrives June 11th via Seventh Rule. Shone describes his latest as “a sullen voyage from the beginning to the end of time, from primordial bliss to devastating chaos.” Based on the tracks we’ve heard so far, we’re guessing there’s more chaos than bliss.
As if all that weren’t enough, Shone and his machine menagerie will be going back on the road this August, opening for Phil Anselmo of freakin’ Pantera. Oh, sorry, that’s Philip H. Anselmo, who’s debuting his new solo gig, Philip H. Anselmo and the Illegals. Not sure why he’s suddenly gotten all formal with the name, but the music is pure thrashy goodness.
Right now, you can hear two tracks from Women & Children: one debuted, randomly, on NPR Music, and the other is available via Soundcloud. Both sound fucking epic. These machines kills fascists and anyone else who happens to be in the way.
Philip H. Anselmo & the Illegals, Warbeast, Author & Punisher tour dates:
07/31 – Tulsa, Okla. @ Cain’s Ballroom
08/02 – De Moines, Iowa @ Wooly’s
08/03 – Minneapolis, Minn. @ First Avenue
08/04 – Chicago, Ill. @ House of Blues
08/06 – Cleveland, Ohio @ House of Blues
08/07 – Grand Rapids, Mich. @ The Intersection
08/09 – Royal Oak, Mich. @ Royal Oak Music Theater
08/10 – Toronto, Quebec @ Danforth Music Hall
08/11 – Montreal, Quebec @ Heavy MTL Festival
08/13 – Worcester, Mass. @ The Palladium
08/14 – Clifton Park, N.Y. @ Upstate Concert Hall
08/16 – New York, N.Y. @ Best Buy Theater
08/17 – Philadelphia, Pa. @ Union Station
08/18 – Silver Springs, Md. @ the Fillmore
08/20 – Atlanta, Ga. @ The Masquerade
–> Pre-order Women & Children
Brace yourselves, Europe. Christeene is comin’!
Photo by Ivete Lucas
You Europeans love to look down on us Americans, don’t you? With our guns and TMZ and politicians dumber than a sack of hammers. Well, we’re about to give you a new reason to feel superior to us. For a whole month, we’re sending you our skankiest drag queen, Christeene, to serenade you with songs about weeping pussies, anal sex and tropical abortions. La Cage aux Folles she ain’t, folks.
Cristeene’s first-ever tour east of the Atlantic includes stops at the SONAR Festival and muthafuckin’ Glastonbury. Not even the Rolling Stones are cool enough to play both SONAR and Glasto. Christeene is killin’ it, y’all.
She’s also playing a date in New York, which isn’t part of Europe but may as well be.
June 7 – NYC – Webster Hall Studio
June 12 – LISBON – Musicbox
June 14 – BARCELONA – SONAR Festival
June 21 – MANCHESTER – Islington Mill
June 22 – LONDON – Duckie
June 23 – LONDON – Lecture/Soho Theater
June 24 – LONDON – Vogue Fabrics
June 25 – LONDON – Vogue Fabrics
June 28 – SOMERSET – Glastonbury Festival
June 29 – BERLIN – Haus der Berliner Festspiele
So Europe: Now that we’re giving you Christeene, you can give us Winny Puhh, right? I mean, fair is fair.
Holy swampballs: Quintron and Miss Pussycat are gonna play the fucking Kennedy Center. Plus a few other places.
If you’re like me, you probably get sucked every year around Christmas into watching the Kennedy Center Honors, because your aging parents have pumped you so full of leftover turkey and Pinot Grigio that you can’t get off the couch and so you’re stuck watching that boring-ass parade of old actors and ballerinas and cellists and ohmygodisthatLedfuckingZeppelin? OK, so the Kennedy Center Honors aren’t all bad. Especially when you’re on your third bottle of Pinot Grigio.
Hosting the Zep was pretty cool…even though they got that talentless douchebag Kid Rock to massacre “Ramble On”…but the Kennedy Center is about to get even cooler. Because on April 13th, they will play host to none other than Quintron & Miss Pussycat. Yes, the New Orleans ambassadors of down ‘n’ dirty “swamp tech” are on the bill for something called the New Orleans Bingo! Show, which also features the Preservation Hall Jazz Band, a jazz cellist, and this guy. Your tax dollars at work, people!
We ran most of these Q & Miss P tour dates back in January, but we’ll run them again here because there have been a few updates…also because they made this awesome “tour commercial” video and we need an excuse to post it. Full dates after the clip.
Here are the dates. Oh and I should’ve mentioned: “The Mystery in Old Bathbath” is a new Miss Pussycat puppet movie. So bring your popcorn.
4-8 – Jacksonville, FL @ Sun Ray Cinema – live show and screening of THE MYSTERY IN OLD BATHBATH
4-9 – TALLAHASSEE, FL @ Downunder Club
4-10 – Atlanta, GA @ The Earl
4-12 – Purchase, NY @ SUNNY Purchase Culture Shock festival
4-13 – Washington DC @ Kennedy Center (Yes the real Kennedy Center) – more info TBA
4-17 – NEW HAVEN, CT @ Cafe 9
4-18 – NY, NY @ Anthology Film Archive – NYC premier of THE MYSTERY IN OLD BATHBATH – Q and A to follow film
4-20 (dude) – BROOKLYN, NY @ Secret Project Robot with K-Holes, Black Dice – Spring Fever / smoke lots of weed festival
4-21 – Richmond, VA @ STrange Matter with Bermuda Triangles
4-25 – Houston, TX @ Fitzgerald’s downstairs
4-26 Dallas, TX @ Doublewide with Darktown Strutters!
4-27 Austin, TX @ Psych Fest – Q and P, King Kahn and Bar-B-Que, Acid Mothers Temple, more trippy bands than ever
4-28 Waxahachie, TX @ Webb Gallery
Metalachi is messin’ with Texas
I like to make fun of Texas as the land of Dubya and belt buckles the size of license plates, and I don’t intend to give those things up anytime soon. But it’s also the land of Christeene and these guys, so I guess they aren’t all bad.
More proof that Texas isn’t just for gun nuts and cousin-marriers: they seem to have a big ol’ ten-gallon hard-on for Metalachi, the awesome metal mariachi cover band whose praises we have been singing between long swigs of Tecate for some time now. And now Metalachi is gearing up to return the love with a nine-show swing through the Lone Star State. Hide your cheerleaders, Cowboys.
Here are the full dates. By the way, I had no idea you folks out in Lubbock had named a bar in my honor. I hope y’all have plenty of Shiner Bock on hand at all times, cuz you never know when I might drop by for a visit.
WEDNESDAY APRIL 3 – Antone’s, Austin TX
THURSDAY APRIL 4 – Backstage LIVE, San Antonio TX
FRIDAY APRIL 5 – Scoutbar, Houston TX
SATURDAY APRIL 6 – Brewster Street Icehouse, Corpus Christi TX
SUNDAY APRIL 7 – Trees, Dallas TX
WEDNESDAY APRIL 10 – Tricky Falls, El Paso TX
FRIDAY APRIL 12 – Jake’s Backroom, Lubbock TX
SATURDAY APRIL 13 – Clicks, Tyler TX
SUNDAY APRIL 14 – The Lucky Mule, Abilene TX
For those of y’all back here in L.A.: Metalachi will be hosting the third annual Drinko de Mayo party at the Roxy on Friday, May 3rd. Stay tuned for more details on that mess.
Let’s play this out with “Sweet Chayo o’ Mine,” as filmed by yours truly with an iPhone in one hand and a margarita in the other. Watch close and you can spot the moment when I switched hands cuz my arm got tired.
Primus: Back on the road. Still in 3D.
Quick, what do Primus and The Hobbit have in common? If you answered, “they can both test audiences’ patience”…well, technically, you’re right, but that’s not the answer we were going for. No, they’re both in 3D, dude! Apparently last fall’s “Primus in 3D” tour was so successful, they’re bringing it back. Turns out Primus fans really love watching hallucinatory visuals that seem to distort space and time itself. Who’da thunk?
Anyway, here’s where Primus will be laying down the 3D jams this year. Except in places marked by an asterisk. You’ll have to settle for the low-tech, 2D version.
5/9 – Bottle Rock Festival – Napa, CA *
5/10 – Eureka Municipal Auditorium – Eureka, CA
5/12 – Revolution Center – Boise, ID
5/13 – Wilma Theater – Missoula, MT
5/14 – Shrine Auditorium – Billings, MT
5/16 – City Auditorium – Colorado Springs, CO
5/17 – Santa Fe Community Convention – Santa Fe, NM
5/18 – Rialto Theatre – Tucson, AZ
5/19 – Fox Theater – Pomona, CA
5/21 – Majestic Ventura Theater – Ventura, CA
5/22 – Fox Theater – Bakersfield, CA
5/24 – Cuthbert Amphitheater – Eugene, OR
5/25 – Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall – Portland, OR
5/26 – Sasquatch Music Festival – Quincy, WA
5/28 – Northern Alberta Jubilee Auditorium – Edmonton, AB
5/29 – McEwan Hall – Calgary, AB
5/31 – Burton Cummings Theatre – Winnipeg, MB
6/1 – Myth – Maplewood, MN
6/2 – Riviera Theater – Chicago, IL
6/6 – Mountain Jam Festival – Hunter, NY *
6/7-8 – Danforth Music Hall – Toronto, ON
6/9 – Niagara River Rocks – North Tonawanda, NY *
* – Not 3D show
In other Primus news: Remember that $5,000 video contest we told you about? Well, either you all suck and no one won, or the band is really taking their sweet time picking a winner. The contest supposedly ended Dec. 15 but as far as we can tell, there have been zero updates since. Could no one contain the awesomeness of “HOINFODAMAN” in a single, low-budget video? Where are Your Fuzzy Friends when you need them?
Wanna play bass in a Japanese action comic punk band? Go to a Peelander-Z show. It could happen!
No, that dude in the middle is not in the band. Photo swiped from Vice. Don’t sue us, guys, K?
If you haven’t been to a Peelander-Z show yet, you really need to get off your ass and rectify that situation, stat. Where else can you do a punk-rock conga line, play the band’s instruments and get knocked over by a giant squid riding a unicycle? It’s like Disneyland for drunk hipsters.
If you’re still not convinced, go read our review of their Halloween show here in L.A. last year. We’ll wait. Now, see if you’re lucky enough to be one of the handful of cities that get to play Tokyo to their Godzilla:
03/24 Salt Lake City, UT @ Kilby Court
03/26 San Francisco, CA @ DNA Lounge
03/27 Los Angeles, CA @ The Roxy Theatre
03/28 San Diego, CA @ Soda Bar
03/29 Tucson, AZ @ Plush
03/30 Phoenix, AZ @ Trunk Space
03/31 Flagstaff, AZ @ The Green Room
04/03 San Antonio, TX @ War Room
04/11 Brooklyn, NY @ Europa Brain-Cave Festival 2013
If they’re not playing your town, don’t sweat it. These guys tour like Willie Nelson after an IRS audit. They’ll be back around soon.
Captured! By Robots announces the C!BR Is Trippin’ Balls tour
Can robots trip balls? We’re about to find out. Captured! By the Robots, the world’s greatest Journey-covering nearly-all-robot band, is heading out on tour this April and May, and they’re promising a mind and/or CPU-expanding show the likes of which we sad little meat puppets have never seen. There will be baby eating. There will be dildo trombones. There may or may not be some unicorn riding. Or maybe there will baby riding and unicorn eating. You don’t know, and neither do we. All we can do is tell you the dates.
4/17/2013 Slabtown Portland
4/18/2013 Chop Suey Seattle
4/19/2013 The Palace Missoula
4/20/2013 The Shredder Boise
4/21/2013 Urban Lounge Salt Lake City
4/24/2013 3 Kings Tavern Denver
4/26/2013 The Brick Kansas City
4/27/2013 Triple Rock Minneapolis
4/28/2013 The Aquarium Fargo
5/1/2013 JD’s Bar Green Bay
5/2/2013 The Frequency Madison
5/3/2013 Cactus Club Milwaukee
5/4/2013 Martyrs Chicago
5/5/2013 House Cafe Dekalb
5/7/2013 TBA Marshall
5/8/2013 Mac s Bar Lansing
5/9/2013 Blind Pig Ann Arbor
5/10/2013 Grog Shop Cleveland Heights
5/11/2013 The Note West Chester
5/12/2013 Chameleon Club Lancaster
5/15/2013 The Hideaway Johnson City
5/16/2013 Milestone Club Charlotte
5/17/2013 The Jinx Savannah
5/18/2013 The Earl Atlanta
5/22/2013 Artmosphere Lafayette
5/23/2013 TBA Austin
5/24/2013 Double Wide Dallas
5/25/2013 Rubber Gloves Denton
5/28/2013 LAUNCH PAD Albuquerque
5/30/2013 Rhythm Room Phoenix
5/31/2013 TBA San Diego
6/1/2013 TBA Los Angeles
I’ll repeat here what I already told C!BR on their Facebook page: When you gearheads come to L.A. (and you better, godammit), you should play The Smell. That place is awesome. Bring a few robot floor fans, though. Otherwise you’ll probably blow a gasket when the temperature hits 120 and the walls start sweating.
We’ll leave you with a behind-the-scenes video of C!BR drummer DRMBOT0110 stress testing his double kick-drum. If you’re a drummer in a death metal band, you might wanna start looking for other work.
Side project alert: Lightning Bolt’s Brian Chippendale is Black Pus
When he’s not pummeling audiences into submission as the drummer for Lightning Bolt, Brian Chippendale is pummeling audiences into submission as the one-man wrecking crew called Black Pus. Black Pus mostly sounds like Lightning Bolt, except bassist Brian Gibson is replaced by various electronics and oscillators and other shit I don’t really claim to understand. It’s technology, people! Technology in the service of making enough noise to cause your brain to start leaking out your ears in a thick, gummy discharge.
The latest Black Pus record, All My Relations, is due out March 19th on Thrill Jockey Records and judging from lead track “1000 Years,” it’s going to be a fucking beast. It’s also apparently the first time Chippendale has recorded a full album in a regular ol’ recording studio with other dudes doing the producing and recording and whatnot. Before all you D.I.Y. punk purists start crying “sellout,” fire up “1000 Years” below and tell me it doesn’t sound like Chippendale beat that studio till it called him Daddy. (If you can’t see the Soundcloud player, click here.)
Later this spring, Chippendale’s taking his Black Pus show on the road. Here are the dates:
05-03 Boston, MA- Cambridge Elks Lounge
05-04 Buffalo, NY- Sound Lab
05-05 Cleveland, OH- Happy Dog
05-07 Chicago, IL- Empty Bottle
05-09 St.Paul, MN- Turf Club *
05-10 Omaha, NE- Slowdown
05-11 Denver, CO- Larimer Lounge
05-13 Salt Lake City, UT- Kilby Court
05-14 Boise, ID- Neurolux
05-15 Seattle, WA- Black Lodge ^
05-16 Portland, OR – Bunk Bar
05-18 San Francisco, CA- Hemlock Tavern
05-19 Oakland, CA- Lobot Gallery
05-20 Los Angeles, CA- The Smell #
05-22 San Diego, CA- Soda Bar
05-23 Tucson, AZ- Topaz Tundra
05-24 Albuquerque, NM- Small Engine
05-26 Austin, TX- Mohawk (Inside)
05-29 Atlanta, GA- The Earl
05-30 Raleigh, NC- Kings Barcade
05-31 Baltimore, MD- Golden West %
06-01 Philadelphia, PA- PhilaMOCA
06-02 Brooklyn, NY- Death By Audio
*Skoal Kodiak, Seawhores
^MTNS, Numbs
#Foot Village, Street Buddy
To pre-order All My Relations, go to Thrill Jockey’s official website. First 100 get a Chippendale comic based on a conversation we literally heard 75 different times at South by Southwest a few years back. Click the link and you’ll see what I mean.
I really need a pair of those raver glasses from the new Deerhoof video
Photo by Deron Pulley
So it looks like Deerhoof‘s Greg Saunier had so much fun shooting a guerrilla-style video on the streets of Hong Kong that he decided to bring the whole band along for a followup. This time the setting is Tokyo and the soundtrack is “We Do Parties,” a lively jam off their most recent album, the excellent Breakup Song. Armed with glowsticks, stickers promoting their Tokyo show and blinky raver glasses that I can’t stop watching, the SF noise-pop heroes make lead singer Satomi Matsuzaki’s hometown their playground. Watch.
In other good news for Hoofheads, Deerhoof just announced a whole mess of tour dates, including an appearance at something in New York called the Ecstatic Music Festival, where they’ll be collaborating with these guys. Which is nice, because usually the only thing New Yorkers have to look forward to in February is freezing their asses off on a dank subway platform.
Deerhoof 2013 tour dates:
02-20 New York, NY – Merkin Concert Hall (Ecstatic Music Festival)
03-01 Brisbane, Australia – The Zoo
03-02 Sydney, Australia – The Annandale
03-03 Melbourne, Australia – Schoolhouse Stuidos
03-06 Adelaide, Australia – Adelaide Festival
04-04 St. Louis, MO – The Firebird #
04-06 Madison, WI – UW-Madison Music Hall %
04-07 Iowa City, IA – The Mill (Mission Creek Festival)
04-08 Chicago, IL – Lincoln Hall *
04-09 Grand Rapids, MI – Pyramid Scheme *
04-11 Pontiac, MI – Crofoot Pike Room *
04-12 Pittsburgh, PA – Andy Warhol Theatre *
04-13 Rochester, NY – Water Street Music Hall *
04-14 Albany, NY – Valentine’s *
04-15 Philadelphia, PA – Union Transfer *
# with The Breaks
% with Dal Niente
* with People Get Ready
One last Deerhoof tidbit: “We Do Parties” is being released Feb. 26th as part of a digital EP that will also feature Breakup Song bonus track “Just for That,” a remix of “Mario’s Flaming Dessert” by electronic music pioneer Simeon of Silver Apples, and a live cover of the Velvet Underground’s “All Tomorrow’s Parties.” Watch this space for your chance to get in on that action. Or, if you’re like us, you can blow a few bucks on those LED raver glasses instead.
Can somebody fly us to New Orleans so we can celebrate Mardi Gras with Quintron and Miss Pussycat?
Good news for people who like puking in alleyways and/or flashing their tits (not necessarily in that order): Mardi Gras is almost upon us! And what better way to celebrate than with New Orleans’ ambassadors of Crescent City eccentricity, Quintron and Miss Pussycat? (We hear Trombone Shorty’s a good time, too, but does he open his sets with sci-fi puppet shows? No, he does not.)
In addition to playing a few hometown Mardi Gras-related shows, Q & Miss P will also be bringing their puppets and swamp jams to several lucky, lucky cities this spring. See below for full tour dates, and for a little taste of what you’re in for, read our review of Quintron and Miss Pussycat’s last show here in L.A. The venue you see them at will probably less stanky, but we make no guarantees.
Quintron & Miss Pussycat Mardi Gras/spring tour dates:
02-1 New Orleans, LA – Tulane University Mardi Gras Ball
02-02 Lafayette, LA – Blue Moon Saloon w/ T-Kette
02-11 New Orleans, LA – One Eyed Jack’s w/ K-Holes, Vice Cooler & the one and only STEPHANIE “call the police” MCDEE!
03-01 New Orleans, LA – THE PRYTANIA THEATER – NOLA Premier of “The Mystery In Old BathBath”
04-09 Tallahassee, FL – Downunder Club
04-10 Atlanta, GA – The Earl
04-13 Washington, DC – Kennedy Center New Orleans Bingo Show
04-17 New Haven, CT – Cafe Nine
04-20 Brooklyn, NY – SPRING FEVER @ Secret Project Robot w/ K-Holes, Black Dice
04-21 Richmond, VA – Strange Matter w/ Bermuda Triangles
04-25 Houston, TX – Fitzgerald’s Downstair’s
04-26 Dallas, TX – Double Wide Bar w/ Darktown Strutters
04-27 Austin, TX – Austin Psych Festival at Carson Creek
04-28 Waxahachie, TX – Webb Gallery
