Army of Gay Unicorns
We thought it only fitting that on September 11 (or “America! Fuck Yeah! Day” as I like to call it), we flex our democratic muscles here once again at TWBITW and add a new band to the Weird List that was voted in by you, our freedom-loving readers. And you came out (pun totally intended) in favor of Army of Gay Unicorns. It’s a beautiful thing, really.
Now don’t let the name fool you: Army of Gay Unicorns sound neither particularly gay nor particularly unicorn-like, unless maybe we’re talking leather-daddy gay with a serious power-tool fetish. Songs like “Cranial Fragmentation Unit” and “Disintegration Codec” will take that unicorn horn and skull-fuck you with it till you’re begging for mercy. Then again, “Persistent Vegetative State” is actually kind of soothing and pleasant—though no so much in a gay unicorn way. More like in a morphine-drip, eating-through-a-straw way. Hence the title, I guess.
The dude behind all this is a reader of ours from the U.K. named Richard, who wrote in about a month ago with a link to his music and a question about whether we knew of any good GG Allin tribute bands (we don’t; any suggestions, kids?). To give you an idea of where Richard’s head is at, here’s an excerpt from one of his emails:
“i like to imagine that there’s an alternative universe where every year in vegas they have GG impersonator conventions, with GG’s of all shapes and sizes meeting in their thousands to share the love. and the poopoo. a midget GG dueting ‘bite it you scum’ on stage with a Japanese GG. it’s a beautiful vision that makes me feel sort of fuzzy inside.”
We honestly know almost nothing else about Richard and maybe that’s just as well. Anyone who gets warm fuzzy feelings from thoughts of GG Allin impersonators, you probably want to keep at a safe distance.
This is usually the part where we insert a YouTube video illustrating just how weird this particular band is. But AoGU has no YouTube videos, and that’s okay. A lot of the weirdest bands out there don’t. Their music is so weird that no visual accompaniment is really needed. They probably don’t play out much, either. Which is too bad, because “Army of Gay Unicorns” would look pretty sweet on a club marquee.
Anyhow, to hear more from Richard and Army of Gay Unicorns, head over to his Jamendo page. If you want to jump right into the deep end of his self-described “sonic dirty protest against a world gone numbingly stupid,” we suggest starting with a track called “The Aborted.” Play it really loud and we guarantee your neighbors will never speak to you again.