Good news, mortals! The Cowbelt, that formidable piece of musical crotch gear, once available only for Mummy use, can be now strapped to human hips for a variation on the cowbell so funky, Christopher Walken himself would weep to hear it. Your pelvic thrusts will be so funkified, members of both sexes will go weak at the knees around you. Or maybe they’re just doubled over in laughter. Who can tell? You’ll be so busy ringing your Cowbelt, you won’t fucking care.
For those not familiar with the awesome power of a fully operational Cowbelt, we offer up the following video of its creators, Here Come the Mummies, in fully Cowbelt deployment. Brace your ass, cuz it’s gonna wanna move.
Can’t wait to strap one on now, can you? So go order one of the first 100 from the HCTM website. They ship March 30th—a day the earth will probably wiggle on its axis from the sheer funkiness of it all.