Skull and Bones
Posted by jakemanson
So the winner of our latest Facebook poll was a Hungarian band called Toth Kina Hegyfalu, but their website is some kind of spamware sinkhole that crashed both our computers when we were trying to research them. So fuck those guys. We’re giving this week’s poll to Skull and Bones, with thanks to our old pal Army of Gay Unicorns for turning us on to this bizarro band from Brazil. We love you, Army of Gay Unicorns! In a totally platonic, non-gay way. Don’t get any ideas, bro.
Skull and Bones is one of those “bands” that’s basically just the work of one guy, a Brazilian nut job named Carlos Spartacus. Spartacus’s two great loves in life are heavy metal and conspiracy theories…hence he writes metal songs about things like UFOs, fake moon landings and secret Nazi bases on Antarctica. If this dude hasn’t seen Iron Sky yet, he really should. It’s about a secret Nazi base on the moon! It’s fiction, but we’re sure there’s a conspiracy theory floating around somewhere that claims It’s All True.
As hilarious as Skull and Bones’s videos are, with their clunky animation and shots of Spartacus playing his axe with the grim determination of a third grader doing long division, the man behind them is dead serious about this stuff. His blog is actually more about conspiracy theories and “alternative history” than it is about the band, and he also claims to be a Freemason and a “Magus,” which is a pretentious way of saying he’s into casting spells and shit. Hope he doesn’t read this and put a hex on us for calling his videos “hilarious.” Although this Swedish metal website called Global Domination totally trashed one of his albums and he gave them an interview anyway. So he seems to take the kidding in stride.
Who knows? Maybe Spartacus realizes that he’s just so far ahead of the rest of us that he’ll probably die a misunderstood artist and his music won’t be appreciated until future generations can fully grasp the genius behind songs like “Admiral Byrd’s Expedition, ” which has a little bit of everything, at least in video form: Nazis! Explosions! UFOs! Drummers engulfed in flames! Pinched falsetto vocals! A seriously bored bass player! Actually, this might be the greatest thing coming out of Brazil right now, metal-wise. Compared to this, Sepultura videos suck balls.
P.S. Wanna help choose one of July’s Weird Bands of the Week? Go vote in our latest Facebook poll. Help us spread democracy to the fascist regime that is Facebook!