German people are awesome. Don’t believe me? Just feast your ears on Van fucking Canto, a heavy metal a cappella group that is way more committed to making that “diggadiggadiggadigga” sound with their mouths than will you ever be committed to anything in your entire life. Yes, you probably love your children less than Van Canto loves singing “diggadiggadiggadigga” on Metallica and Manowar covers. That adorable a cappella group you loved in college? The Whiffengoobers or whatever? They are but dust on the heels of Van Canto’s studded motorcycle boots.
Van Canto have been doing their “hero metal a cappella” thing since 2006, aided only by a drummer because, as their website proudly states, “we do not do disco pop.” By implication, this means all other a cappella groups do do disco pop. So fuck off, Rockapella. You know what you guys don’t have? Drums. Also, druids and fire (see video below). Therefore, by definition, you are disco pop. Van Canto has spoken!
A massive shout-out to our old friend Richard from Army of Gay Unicorns for turning us on to these guys. And yes, Richard, they do turn us on. It’s not just a figure of speech. Just thought you should know.