Godswounds

Godswounds

Say hello to our latest Weird Band Poll winners: Godswounds. They’re a bunch of hairy dudes from Australia who play a sort of math-rock/metal/dub/videogame-soundtrack combo featuring double drums, lots of choppy guitar, some trumpet and an instrument that sounds like a Theremin but I think is just some kind of vintage synth. They’re fun. They also have an excellent weird band pedigree: That’s Mr. Bungle‘s Danny Heifetz on one of the two drum kits and their latest album, Death to the Babyboomers, features members of The Melvins, Oxbow, Red Sparrowes and Sleepytime Gorilla Museum. Remember, kids: You’re never too weird to network.

You can stream all of Death to the Babyboomers on Bandcamp and even buy the whole thing for US $7 if you’re living large. Meantime, here’s an example of their live show, which takes awhile to get to Crazytown but makes up for lost time when it gets there. What’s Australian for “melt your fucking face off”? Sound is a little low, so crank it.

So congrats on winning the poll, Godswounds! And for the rest of y’all: Keep an eye out for our next poll in a couple weeks. It’s gonna be the most bonkers one yet, and I’m not just saying that because Andy beats me if we don’t get enough people voting.

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New Author and Punisher tour dates with Phil Anselmo, “Women & Children” album dropping next month

Author and Punisher
Photo by Marilia Maschion

Tristan Shone and his “Doom Machines” have been keeping busy. The man and the contraptions that make up the industrial/drone act Author & Punisher have just gotten back from a European tour and already they’re gearing up for the release of the fifth A&P album, Women & Children, which arrives June 11th via Seventh Rule. Shone describes his latest as “a sullen voyage from the beginning to the end of time, from primordial bliss to devastating chaos.” Based on the tracks we’ve heard so far, we’re guessing there’s more chaos than bliss.

As if all that weren’t enough, Shone and his machine menagerie will be going back on the road this August, opening for Phil Anselmo of freakin’ Pantera. Oh, sorry, that’s Philip H. Anselmo, who’s debuting his new solo gig, Philip H. Anselmo and the Illegals. Not sure why he’s suddenly gotten all formal with the name, but the music is pure thrashy goodness.

Right now, you can hear two tracks from Women & Children: one debuted, randomly, on NPR Music, and the other is available via Soundcloud. Both sound fucking epic. These machines kills fascists and anyone else who happens to be in the way.

Philip H. Anselmo & the Illegals, Warbeast, Author & Punisher tour dates:

07/31 – Tulsa, Okla. @ Cain’s Ballroom
08/02 – De Moines, Iowa @ Wooly’s
08/03 – Minneapolis, Minn. @ First Avenue
08/04 – Chicago, Ill. @ House of Blues
08/06 – Cleveland, Ohio @ House of Blues
08/07 – Grand Rapids, Mich. @ The Intersection
08/09 – Royal Oak, Mich. @ Royal Oak Music Theater
08/10 – Toronto, Quebec @ Danforth Music Hall
08/11 – Montreal, Quebec @ Heavy MTL Festival
08/13 – Worcester, Mass. @ The Palladium
08/14 – Clifton Park, N.Y. @ Upstate Concert Hall
08/16 – New York, N.Y. @ Best Buy Theater
08/17 – Philadelphia, Pa. @ Union Station
08/18 – Silver Springs, Md. @ the Fillmore
08/20 – Atlanta, Ga. @ The Masquerade

–> Pre-order Women & Children from Amazon.com

Mr. B the Gentleman Rhymer is about to gentrify America

Mr. B the Gentleman Rhymer

America, your long chap-hop drought is finally about to end. Mr. B the Gentleman Rhymer will soon grace our savage shores with his refined, banjolele-fueled ditties about big pimpin’ Victorian style. Huzzah!

Sadly, the esteemed Mr. B’s Stateside social calendar currently boasts but two invitations: The CONvergence sci-fi and fantasy convention (whose 2013 theme, fittingly, is “British Invasion”) in Minneapolis on July 4th, and the Antiquarian Music Festival at Steamstock, a steampunk festival in the San Francisco Bay Area, on July 28th. Between those two dates, we can only assume he will be making the arduous trek across our great American wildernesses via horseless carriage, or possibly one of these things. Will he call upon various saloons and public houses along the way and delight them with impromptu chap-hop recitals? The gap-toothed hoi polloi between the Twin Cities and the Golden Gate can but fervently hope.

Mr. B hasn’t released any new tunes of late, so we’ll leave you instead with this adorable Steamstock promotional video, featuring the many highlights and elaborate hats of Steamstock 2012. Please to enjoy.

Brace yourselves, Europe. Christeene is comin’!

Christeene at SXSW
Photo by Ivete Lucas

You Europeans love to look down on us Americans, don’t you? With our guns and TMZ and politicians dumber than a sack of hammers. Well, we’re about to give you a new reason to feel superior to us. For a whole month, we’re sending you our skankiest drag queen, Christeene, to serenade you with songs about weeping pussies, anal sex and tropical abortions. La Cage aux Folles she ain’t, folks.

Cristeene’s first-ever tour east of the Atlantic includes stops at the SONAR Festival and muthafuckin’ Glastonbury. Not even the Rolling Stones are cool enough to play both SONAR and Glasto. Christeene is killin’ it, y’all.

She’s also playing a date in New York, which isn’t part of Europe but may as well be.

June 7 – NYC – Webster Hall Studio
June 12 – LISBON – Musicbox
June 14 – BARCELONA – SONAR Festival
June 21 – MANCHESTER – Islington Mill
June 22 – LONDON – Duckie
June 23 – LONDON – Lecture/Soho Theater
June 24 – LONDON – Vogue Fabrics
June 25 – LONDON – Vogue Fabrics
June 28 – SOMERSET – Glastonbury Festival
June 29 – BERLIN – Haus der Berliner Festspiele

So Europe: Now that we’re giving you Christeene, you can give us Winny Puhh, right? I mean, fair is fair.

Computer Jesus Refrigerator

Computer Jesus Refrigerator
Photo swiped from Coilhouse

I have to start off by thanking the guy who wrote us up on Metafilter last week, a website that apparently has the magical power to make even a half-assed music blog like ours more popular than catbeard photos. So thanks, narain! Hopefully by the time we post this, you and all the other Metafilterlings won’t have lost interest and moved on in search of…well, catbeard photos, probably. That shit is all the rage these days.

The Metafilter crowd suggested a ton of potential new Weird List fodder that Andy and I are still sifting through, but we wanted to jump right on at least one band submitted by all you highly opinionated newcomers. After much debate, we decided to go with symbioid‘s pick of glitch/noise outfit Computer Jesus Refrigerator, because we liked the name and their videos reminded me of when I used to scarf like 10 Pixy Stix all at once and spin around on the front lawn until it looked like the hedges were attacking me sideways. Yeah, I was basically the Gary Busey of my third grade class.

We don’t know a whole hell of a lot about Computer Jesus Refrigerator. They seem to be from Texas, but we’re not sure what part. This WFMU post says they’re from Austin, but their Bandcamp page is tagged San Antonio and their YouTube channel says they’re from Antarctica, which I assume is a joke but could also be an actual town in Texas for all I know. Maybe next to this one.

CJR is mostly the work of one dude named Michael Vasquez, who also goes by the name of KOKOFREAKBEAN. He likes to call his stuff “tonk honky,” which is as good a name for it as any. He plays drums, keyboards and samplers and also does all the project’s artwork, some of which is fucking amazing. He also designs the band’s costumes, which kind of look like his artwork come to life, in a very Caroliner kid’s-coloring-book-on-acid sorta way. Not sure if all CJR shows feature Vasquez on drums and another person on keyboards, but here’s a show from 2009 that does just that. I particularly like the way he yells at the audience in what sounds like a cross between Spanish, Swahili and Sullustese.

As mind-bending as that was, the videos Vasquez makes for CJR’s little 30-to-90-second bursts of glitchcore are even more extreme. Here’s our favorite.

As if all that weren’t enough, KOKOFREAKBEAN also makes disgusting little video shorts for Funny or Die. If you’re at work, don’t click that link. Guess I probably shoulda told you that in advance, huh?

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Hear (most of) Here Come the Mummies’ new album, “Cryptic”

Here Come the Mummies Cryptic

For some bands, reinventing the wheel would be a form of sacrilege akin to watching an old bluesman suddenly bust out into Justin Bieber song. So we’re happy to report that Cryptic, the sixth album from undead funk-rockers Here Come the Mummies, is pretty much exactly what you’d expect from a band whose previous albums include such WYSIWYG titles as Single Entendre and Bed, Bath and Behind. There are songs are partying, songs about sex, and songs about how too much partying can lead to sex. It’s a sweeping epic about the human condition, really. Baz Luhrmann should buy the film rights.

You can listen to extended clips from all 12 of Cryptic‘s tracks right now on the revamped HCTM website, which has a slick new look and all sorts of interactive features (the fan photos from past shows are especially nifty). And speaking of interactive…here’s a live video of them performing the Cryptic track “Everything But” that was made using the French website Evergig.com, which splices together fan-shot videos into a seamless concert clip. Pretty high-tech for a bunch of dudes who’ve been dead for five thousand years.

We interrupt this blog for a special announcement from Electric Phantom

electric-phantom

Big news from Electric Phantom, the record label home to Chimney Crow and Petunia-Liebling MacPumpkin. It arrived on our Facebook page earlier this week in the form of a video press conference hosted by Electric Phantom spokeswoman Melody McGinn and attended by the dying remnants of the music press. Let’s watch, shall we?

Very melodramatic, no? Next time we have a big announcement, we’re totally hiring Melody and her gang of ghouls to make it for us.

So now that you know the big news (you did watch the video, right? if not: Spoiler alert!), head over to electric-phantom.com and check out all the new goodies. Happy shopping.