Look, Japan, I get it, OK? You’re a strange country. You don’t have to keep proving it to me. I know all about your jam bands who dress like giant shrimp and creepy singing robots and game shows where you have to play a harmonica inside a dead fish’s mouth. So you can relax already. You got this weird shit on lock.

But no…every time I open my inbox, I’m greeted with more “what the fuck is going on?” moments from the Land of the Rising Sun. The latest is a band called Babymetal that is, in fact, made up of babies who sing metal. Well, OK, they’re not babies; I think the oldest one is like 14 or something. But the point is, they’re sweet little Japanese schoolgirls who should probably not be allowed to watch any Dir En Grey videos for at least another four years…and yet, they kinda sound like Dir En Grey. Japan strikes again!

Apparently Babymetal is the metal-themed spinoff of another kiddie J-pop group called Sakura Gakuin. They call their music “kawaii metal,” which sounds like metal for surfers but actually translates to “cute metal,” which actually sums this stuff up pretty well. There are definite elements of pop and EDM and even the occasional hip-hop and dubstep…but it all comes back to the double kick drums and drop-D guitar riffs, which are played by a scary-looking masked backing band while the girls dance around in their Hot Topic finery. Never before has the devil’s music been this adorable.

Do I even need to tell you that this shit is huge in Japan? Here’s a link (embedding disabled…fuckers) to a video of them playing a song called “Headbanger!!” for approximately one zillion people at the Inazuma Rock Festival this past September. I believe this is part of a DVD they released last month called Babymetal Apocalypse, which I guess if you’re a metal purist is probably the most accurately named concert DVD of all time. Personally I can’t get enough of this shit, though. It’s like watching a Metallica show inside a Hello Kitty store.

I’ll leave you with one last video because it’s awesome. Spoiler alert: Her microphone houses a tiny samurai sword. In your face, Marilyn Manson!



15 thoughts on “Babymetal

  1. Vreob Kobil

    I don’t like the term “backing band”. The scary-looking instrumentalists musicians in BabyMetal are just as much part of the band and their songwriting, and they matter just as much, they are the band as well. Now, I really like BabyMetal on the other hand, they are very original and very good, on top of that, they are basically an introduction to a very interesting part of metal. Another band I can think of that is from Japan and has this kind of original style is Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, a Electronic-Autotune-Metalcore band. By the way, I also think idols are very harmful to music because they distract from the fact everyone and everything matters in music, and of course that the idols are trash. I am done with the semi-rant, semi-love letter, don’t worry.

    1. Vreob Kobil

      Oh yeah when I talked about the instrumentalists being part of the band, I also meant they are songwriters just as much as the girls. Hey look if you don’t like me adding on to my rant just KNOW THAT I’M OVERLY ANXIOUS AND A NOLIFE OKAY DON’T JUDGE ME.

  2. BMFAN

    PS oldest, Su-Metal, is 16 not 14 and she is the cutest girl i have ever seen for that the band Babymetal is awesome!!!!!!!!!

    1. Babymetal suck by the way I don,t know why you heard there music for why because suzuka nakamoto she fucking wierd even her sister is fucking wierd too all I am saying is that suzuka all friends and all family should die rot in hell cuz I hate babymetal they are annoying band in the whole world

  3. hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

    Japan’s manufactured idol pop is getting more and more extreme lately, which is only a good thing. If you think that BABYMETAL is an especially weird group, try the cutie harsh noise idols BiS Kaidan, whose live performances see them throwing pigs’ heads, tampons, soured milk and chicken feet at the crowds, all while looking lovely in some blood-spattered sailor suits.

      1. BiSの殺し屋担当、テンテンことテンテンコでーす!

        I wouldn’t say so, I find their versions of “primal.”, “eat it”, and the noise collage “BiS_kaidan” to be some of the finest tracks in idol music. I mean, BABYMETAL are good too, but they have been quite firmly out-metalled by BiS anyway:‎

        1. as if being out metalled is the most important thing, you sound like a poser, and if that video shows how metal they are then babymetal would be more metal especially with the kami band

          1. adding a little bit of pop into metal doesn’t stop it from being metal and seriously the vocals are definately worse and if there’s one thing that’s not metal it’s judging a bands sound beacause of the vocals… hnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng!

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