It’s about time someone made an experimental death metal song about the Teletubbies. And VirginTurtleWhore was just the band for the job.
On their new track, “Teletubbies Say Fuck You!”, the Mexican metalheads invite the Teletubbies over to play, then bash them over the head with their Flying V’s and stomp their soft, squishy bodies into paste. At least I assume that’s what happened, although that doesn’t explain the Texas two-step breakdown, so I don’t know. Maybe all they did was party.
Here’s what VTW say about the track on their Bandcamp page:
Turn on the ole’ boob tube and enter the realm of Satan and become his anal bead today! Every time my urethra sings this song it gives me an orgasm which in turn drowns the singer, so tragic really. Sometimes I put the in ear headphones in my bum hole and let the vibrations rattle my rectum until I get diarrhea. If the yellow and red teletubbies have sex is the baby orange?
My friend’s two-year-old says the answer to that last question is definitely “yes,” by the way. He also asked what a urethra was, but I just told him it was none of his goddamned business.
Anyhow, enough talk. Let’s rock. Oh and if you want to download the track: I’m pretty sure the market value of a song this good is at least half a million dollars. But you can name your price, you cheap bastard.