Advertisements

Hey, remember that parrot who sang lead vocals for the death metal band Hatebeak? Now he’s a fucking music critic.


For Those About to Squawk

Listen, magazines. I know times are tough and no one subscribes to you anymore and all. But do you really need to start replacing your writers with fucking birds? It’s not like us freelance writers cost all that much to begin with. And most of us don’t shit all over your product on a regular basis. Most of us.

Anyway, it’s true: Whether to cut costs, as a desperate bid for attention, or because somebody lost a bet, Waldo the Grey African Parrot from Hatebeak is a music critic for Decibel magazine with a bi-weekly column called “For Those About to Squawk: Waldo’s Pecks of the Week.” Actually, he’s been one of their critics since 2010, so we’re a little late in breaking this story. No wonder we’re being phased out by birds.

In case you’re not familiar with Waldo’s other gig: Hatebeak was a joke death metal formed back in 2004 with Waldo doing lead vocals. We’ve embedded their 2007 masterpiece “The Thing That Should Not Beak” below for your listening pleasure. I gotta give it to him: He’s a talented bird, that Waldo. He even writes pretty good. “This record has the teeth of an infant, and is about as warm as Philip Seymour Hoffman’s corpse,” is how he describes one particularly shitty album. Metaphorical and offensive…nice one, Waldo!

Hatebeak has been out of circulation for a pretty long time…so long that their main web presence is still their MySpace page. Between Waldo’s busy writing schedule and the success of Hatebeak drummer Blake Harrison’s other band, Pig Destroyer, I guess they just haven’t had a chance to get back in the studio. But in a 2012 radio interview, Harrison hinted at a full-length Hatebeak album dropping sometime “before I die,” so hopefully we haven’t heard Waldo’s last death squawk.

Advertisements

About jakemanson

I'm the brains behind The Weirdest Band in the World. Andy's just the good looking one.

Posted on March 13, 2014, in Weird News and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: