Well Worn Boot’s Wild Wild Fest is coming

Well Worn Boot

I always thought wineries were for pinky-pointing pussies. But I guess I need to rethink my position, because a winery is hosting a weird-ish music festival in Upstate New York this August. It’s called the Wild Wild Fest and it was founded by our flute-playing cowpunk heroes, Well Worn Boot. Do I need to drink Chardonnay to attend? Fuck it, save me a barrel and I’ll be there with both pinkies flappin’ in the breeze.

I must admit…except for WWB, Andy and I hadn’t heard of any of these other bands on the Wild Wild Fest lineup. Well, we’d heard of Bill Ward and for a second there we got all excited…but it’s not the drummer from Black Sabbath. It’s this guy. But hey, I bet he does a mean “Paranoid” cover.

Still, we did a little research and it turns out that WWB are definitely not the only freaks on the bill. Armcannon, for example, do synth-metal covers of videogame music. (Hm, where have we heard that idea before?) Baby Gramps is a crusty old folk singer who has a song called “Scrotum Song.” And then there’s this Jack Topht guy. I don’t even know where to start on that one. Somebody pass the fuckin’ Chardonnay.

Anyhoo, Wild Wild Fest is Aug. 29-30 at Willow Creek Winery in Silver Creek, NY. Come for the Boot, stay for the wine slushies. Did I mention there will be wine slushies? Fuck yeah, there will be wine slushies. I kinda buried the lead there, didn’t I?

For more info, including ticket prices and whatnot, go here. Or watch this nifty little promotional video.

P.S. Please do not confuse Well Worn Boot’s Wild Wild Fest with this other Wild Wild Fest. That one is all shitty metal bands and zero wine slushies. Trust me, you want the one with the guy who sings the “Scrotum Song.”

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Weird bands invade the Long Beach Zombie Walk: Metalachi, Haunted Garage, Radioactive Chicken Heads

LBZombieWalk

Usually I save my zombie impersonation for the morning after the party. But Saturday, Oct. 26th, I’m gonna be moanin, shamblin and bitin people in the head during the party. It’s the sixth annual Long Beach Zombie Walk Festival, motherfuckers! And this year, they’ve got a music lineup that’s practically ripped from the pages of this here blog.

LBZW 2013 stars three Weird List stalwarts: heavy metal mariachi combo Metalachi, reunited ’80s horror punks Haunted Garage, and why-is-the-lead-singer-a-carrot band the Radioactive Chicken Heads. As if all that wasn’t weirdness enough, they’ve also got monster-themed rockers The Rhythm Coffin, evil clown punks Circus Jerks, and whatever the hell these guys are supposed to be.

Tickets to the festivities are a mere $15 and zombie attire is optional…but why the hell wouldn’t you smear yourself in fake gore before going? Especially if you’re taking the Metro. Nothing keeps the panhandlers away like fake gore. Well, except maybe real gore.

For more info and to purchase tickets, go here.

We’ll play this post out with The Rhythm Coffin’s “Tombstone Twist.” Catchy like ebola, ain’t it? See ya in the LBC.

Let us feast on flesh at the GWAR-B-Q

GWAR-B-Q

Getting sprayed with fake blood at a GWAR concert is fun and all, but I bet it pales in comparison to getting sprayed with real blood and/or lighter fluid. And both those things are probably strong possibilities at the 4th Annual GWAR-B-Q, an orgy of loud music and roasted flesh hosted by the greatest alien-god-monster metal band in the universe. Too bad it’s happening in Virginia, or I’d totally go. But I’m pretty sure I still have at least two outstanding warrants in that state. Or was it West Virginia? Either way, I’m out.

But if you’re in that part of the world on Saturday, Aug. 17, you should totally fucking go. In addition to GWAR, the lineup features such stellar purveyors of weird metal as Cannabis Corpse (weed-themed death metal), X-Cops (current and former members of GWAR dressed up as, well, cops) and Kung Fu Dykes (uh…this shit). Also on the bill: the less weird but undeniably awesome Corrosion of Conformity, Municipal Waste, Loincloth and one of my personal favorites, muthafuckin’ Pig Destroyer. Shit is gonna go off, y’all.

Oh, and did we mention they’re also gonna be rolling out the very first GWAR-themed beer, Impaled Ale? Somebody save us a case.

Tickets go on sale June 6th at gwarbq.com. Mark your calendars in the blood of your enemies.