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Behold Vulvatron, GWAR’s awesome new female lead singer

Vulvatron

The post-Oderus incarnation of GWAR continues to exceed our expectations. Instead of replacing the irreplaceable entity that was Oderus/Dave Brockie, the band’s reportedly totally revamped their stage show and added not one, but two new lead vocalists fill Oderus’ massive platform boots.

After unleashing Blothar on the unsuspecting masses at the GWAR-B-Q, they presented his female counterpart, Vulvatron, at Riot Fest in Chicago this past weekend. And she is pretty much everything one could hope for in a lady GWAR demon. She’s hot. She shoots blood from her massive breasts. She takes great selfies. And she fucks shit up with the boys. We’re sold.

Vulvatron’s human counterpart is one Kim “Kylla” Dylla, who’s just as much of a badass IRL, as the kids all say these days. Just check out her CV on her website: degrees in art and computer science, a painter and costume designer, wrestler, frontwoman of her own metal band Thismeansyou. She’s going to have human filth lining up around the block after every GWAR show hoping to be her disposable sex slaves.

Speaking of GWAR shows: The band’s also announced a massive, 45-date tour that’s also being billed as the band’s quest to find the missing Oderus. Here’s what guitarist Balsac the Jaws of Death says about the tour on the GWAR website:

“Dark clouds of war and ill omen have gathered around GWAR. In our hour of greatest peril, Oderus has left us and our enemies stand poised, ready to strike while they sense weakness. But we shall no longer cower in our Antarctic stronghold, awaiting Destiny’s final blow. This Fall GWAR sets out on the most trying quest of our career. We shall scour our leader’s favorite stomping ground, North America, leaving no city unsearched, no venue unraised, and no sheep unmolested. GWAR will venture to the depths of Hell or to the very end of Time itself, and though I fear what we may encounter out there, I know that we can never return home until we have the answer we seek: ‘Where is Oderus Urungus?’”

So what say you, GWARmy? Do you stand ready to help your demon overlords in their hour of need? Are you ready to get sprayed with blood from the almighty udder of Blothar and the unspeakable breasts of Vulvatron? Goddamn right you are.

Here are the dates:

GWAR W/ Decapitated and American Sharks:

10/15: Norfolk, VA @ The Norva
10/16: Sayreville, NJ @ Starland Ballroom
10/17: Stroudsburg, PA @ Sherman Theater
10/18: Worcester, MA @ The Palladium – “Rock and Shock Festival”
10/19: Buffalo, NY @ The Town Ballroom
10/21: Louisville, KY @ Expo Five
10/22: Memphis, TN @ New Daisy Theater
10/23: Dallas, TX @ Gas Monkey Live
10/24: New Orleans, LA @ House of Blues
10/25: Austin, TX @ Emo’s – “Housecore Horror Film Festival*
10/26: Houston, TX @ Warehouse Live
10/28: Oklahoma City, OK @ Diamond Ballroom
10/29: Sauget, IL @ Pop’s Nightclub
10/30: Lawrence, KS @ Granada Theater
10/31: Denver, CO @ The Summit Music Hall**
11/1: Albuquerque, NM @ Sunshine Theater
11/2: Tempe, AZ @ The Marquee
11/3: Santa Ana, CA @ The Observatory
11/4: Reno, NV @ Knitting Factory Concert House
11/5: San Francisco, CA @ The Regency Ballroom
11/6: Hollywood, CA @ House of Blues
11/7: Las Vegas, NV @ Hard Rock Live
11/8: Magna, UT @ The Great Salt Air
11/10: Boise, ID @ Knitting Factory Concert House
11/11: Portland, OR @ Roseland Theater
11/12: Seattle, WA @ Showbox SODO

GWAR W/ TBA and American Sharks:

11/14: Vancouver, BC and Commodore Ballroom

GWAR W/ Corrosion of Conformity and American Sharks:

11/15: Spokane, WA @ Knitting Factory Concert House
11/16: Calgary, AB @ MacEwan Hall Ballroom
11/17: Edmonton, AB @ Union Hall
11/19: Fargo, ND @ The Venue
11/20: Minneapolis, MN @ Skyway Theater
11/21: Milwaukee, WI @ The Rave
11/22: Detroit, MI @ Harpo’s
11/23: Grand Rapids, MI @ The Intersection
11/25: Indianapolis, IN @ The Vogue
11/26: Cleveland, OH @ House of Blues
11/28: Charlotte, NC @ Tremont Music Hall
11/29: Philadelphia, PA @ Electric Factory
11/30: New York, NY @ Irving Plaza
12/2: Nashville, TN @ Exit/In
12/3: Asheville, NC @ The Orange Peel
12/4: Pensacola, FL @ Vinyl Music Hall
12/5: Orlando, FL @ Firestone Live
12/6: Atlanta, GA @ The Masquerade
12/7: Columbus, OH @ Newport Music Hall
12/8: Millvale, PA @ Mr. Smalls Theater
12/9: Toronto, ON @ Opera House
12/10: Montreal, QC @ Virgin Mobile Corona Theater
12/11: Clifton Park, NY @ Upstate Concert Hall
12/12: New Haven, CT @ Toad’s Place
12/13: Baltimore, MD @ Baltimore Sound Stage

*No American Sharks
** Havok plays on this show

As promised, GWAR gave Oderus Urungus a proper Viking funeral

Oderus Viking funeral

Another GWAR-B-Q has come and gone and while I’m sure all the bands rocked the fuck out and all, most of the talk has rightly been about Dave Brockie/Oderus and the fact that his GWAR bandmates really did, as promised, give the man a full-on Viking funeral. They put Oderus…or at least the latex monster suit formerly inhabited by Oderus…on a boat, sent it drifting out into the middle of a lake, and set it on fire with a fucking flaming arrow. Best funeral since Hunter S. Thompson? I would say so.

The whole funeral is up on YouTube. Lamb of God’s Randy Blythe delivered an excellent eulogy, and there’s some cool stuff with a girl dressed up like a Valkyrie waving a flaming sword around, but the whole thing is 52 minutes long and we know you people have short attention spans. So here’s the flaming arrow money shot:

Rest in peace, Oderus. Or better yet, rest in chaos and mayhem, because that was always more your scene.

This year’s GWAR-B-Q with feature a Oderus-less incarnation of GWAR

GWAR-B-Q 2014

So apparently GWAR will be performing at the fifth annual GWAR-B-Q in Richmond, Virginny, on Aug. 16th. And I’m not gonna lie…I have mixed feelings about this. When GWAR front-monster Oderus Urungus ditched Earth back in March, I kinda assumed it was the end of the line for his merry band of blood-spewing thrash-heads. But they’ve decided to carry on without him, which strikes me as the worst idea since Loutallica. But hey, talk me down from my ledge, Jizmak Da Gusha (from an interview with Metal Insider):

We have Mike Bishop, the original Beefcake bass player of GWAR. He’s coming back to fold to do some singing duties, but Balsac, Pustulus, Beefcake, they’re all singing. Cyborg, Destructo, Bone Snapper, all the GWAR characters have songs to fill in, and we’ve kind of taken the idea back to the original, old school, Scumdogs idea. Where Oderus, he was just the anchor, there were so many characters and so many different people singing songs, and so much action and gore and death on the stage in the old days that it wasn’t like it was more recently, where we stripped away all of that and made Oderus the focal point. The old Scumdogs of GWAR, there’s chaos everywhere, and Oderus is just the anchor to it. So we’re kind of going back to the old format, embracing it… I think people are going to respond to it. No one would respect us if we just threw another guy in the costume and said “Oh here’s Oderus’ replacement.” There is no way to replace Dave Brockie, not in a million years.

OK, I’m less scared now. A reunion of all former GWAR Scumdogs, with everyone taking turns on lead vocals? This could be good. It could be like a big GWAR circus, all honoring Dave/Oderus’ memory. OK, I’m totally in! Also, I may have just teared up a little. Sorry, GWAR makes me sentimental.

In addition to GWAR 2.0, the GWAR-B-Q is also going to feature such skull-crushing experts at Hatebreed, Goatwhore, The Misfits, The Meatmen, and fuckin’ Ice-T and Body Count. For tickets, go here.

In other GWAR news: Plans are moving ahead to open the first GWARbar in Richmond, featuring “intergalactic gourmet junk food” and, of course, GWAR-brand beer (start with the Impaled Pale Ale and switch to the Killsner when you’re too drunk to stand). GWAR’s own Mike Derks, aka Balsac the Jaws of Death, will be the chef. By the way, if you click that GWARbar link at the top of this paragraph, you will see that the name “Balsac the Jaws of Death” just got printed in the Washington Post. This makes us happy.

I’m going to play this post out with a classic clip of GWAR on The Joan Rivers Show sometime around 1990, partially because it gives you a chance to see Mike Bishop, the original Beefcake, in action. But mostly because it’s funny as fuck.

News of the awesome: GWAR now available in Throbblehead form

GWAR Throbbleheads

Attention, human filth: At last, your shrine to deceased GWAR leader Oderus Urungus can finally be complete. What’s that? You don’t have a shrine to Oderus in your garage? Well, go fucking build one, then! We’ll wait.

All shrined up and ready to go? Good. Because starting today, our pals at Aggronautix are taking orders on their most awesome Throbblehead set yet: limited-edition plastic likenesses of Oderus and his trusty, guitar-slinging sidekick, Balsac the Jaws of Death. There will only be 1,000 of these bad boys released, so get your ass over to the Aggronautix website and pre-order yours pronto. It’s what Oderus would have commanded you to do.

A portion of the $49.95 cost of each set goes to the Dave Brockie Fund, set up in honor of Oderus’ human alter ego slave. For more on the fund, read this.

Oh and there will also be some signed ones available from GWAR.net. So now you know what to get me for my birthday.

Public memorial for Dave Brockie set for Aug. 15th, one day before the GWAR-B-Q

This amazing Dave Brockie photo lifted from this even more amazing

This amazing Dave Brockie photo lifted from this even more amazing Metal Sucks article

GWAR fans still shattered over the death of their hero, Oderus Urungus, now have something to look forward to: On Friday, Aug. 15th in Richmond, Virginia, a public memorial service will be held honoring Oderus and the crazy, incredible dude behind him, Dave Brockie.

The memorial happens one day before the 5th annual GWAR-B-Q, which might be a slightly more solemn affair this year. Although let’s hope not, because I’m sure Oderus would’ve wanted his minions partying till they puke in his honor. Maybe they can puke first and then cry later. That seems like the way to go here, I think.

In a video statement, the surviving and unmasked members of GWAR also announced that they’re creating the Dave Brockie Foundation, a charity that “will be a resource for artists in the fields of music, film, literature and all visual arts who cannot find funding through mainstream channels.” So basically, every single band we’ve ever blogged about should apply.

You can read more about the Dave Brockie Foundation here and get updates on the GWAR-B-Q here. So far the only band that’s been announced is…GWAR! GWAR without Oderus? Can such a thing be possible? Maybe they can get Joan Jett to be like Oderus’ long-lost sister or something. She did a pretty good job subbing in for Cobain with Nirvana, I hear.

Here’s that video statement. Mark your calendars, GWARmy!

Ten things I’ll miss the most about Oderus Urungus

Oderus

I’m not gonna get all misty-eyed about the death of GWAR main man Dave Brockie, who for 30 years strapped on the Space Barbarian suit known to fans the world over as Oderus Urungus. I never actually met Dave, unless you count the one time in ’91 or thereabouts when I yelled “Great show!” at him after a gig and he yelled back, “Thanks, human!”

But even though I didn’t know him, I’m guessing he wouldn’t have wanted people to get all sad and weepy at his passing. He might want us to break shit, but cry? Fuck no. There are many bodily fluids I associate with GWAR, but tears are not one of them.

So instead of some pussy-ass eulogy, here’s a list of just 10 of the many things I will miss about Oderus. And probably about GWAR in general. I mean, maybe the surviving members will morph into some kind of GWAR tribute band, the way the Murder Junkies still tour with GG Allin songs, but it’s not like you can replace Oderus. In fact, this list could probably also be called “Ten Reasons GWAR Should Just Break Up Now.” I know that sounds harsh, but fuck it. It’s been a harsh day.

1. His bloody stage antics.

Especially when he dismembered Hitler. A million times more cathartic than Inglorious Basterds.

2. His interviewing skills.

Comedians should study this guy.

3. His crushing vocals on GWAR’s “Carry On Wayward Son” cover.

So much better than the original, Kansas should pay him royalties.

4. His giant Scumdog dick, aka The Cuttlefish of Cthulhu.

Yes, I know saying I miss someone’s dick is totally gay. But I don’t care. I’m gay for GWAR.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

5. His appearances on Fox News.

I love how the Fox commentators keep trying to be in on the joke and failing miserably.

6. His love for the children.

7. The blood. Oh, the blood.

I suppose this may continue after Oderus is gone, but it won’t be the same. (Photo swiped from this excellent article.)

gwar-fans

8. The witty stage banter.

And the disembowelment of Justin Bieber is a nice bonus, too.

9. The music.

Yeah, fine, no one ever went to a GWAR show for the music. But you know what? Some of their earlier punk/metal stuff is pretty fucking catchy.

10. The man behind the mask.

Did I say wasn’t going to get all misty-eyed? Well, fuck it, I lied.

I’m going to miss the hell out of Dave Brockie: his music, his humor, his insane stage shows, and his all-around weirdness. We basically started this blog specifically for bands like GWAR…you know, the ones that come up with something completely original and fucking commit to it. Brockie did GWAR for 30…fucking…years. Most people can’t even stay married that long.

We call the bands on here “weird” because it’s funny and it gets a reaction and because we didn’t want to crawl up our own asses and talk about “the avant-garde” or “experimentalism” or some other bunch of pretentious horseshit. Calling the bands “weird” just made the whole thing sound like more fun.

But let’s not kid ourselves. The best bands on our Weird List…maybe not all of them, but the best ones…aren’t just weird. They’re fucking extraordinary. They do shit no one else would have the creativity or perseverance or sheer balls to do. Dave Brockie embodied all of that and them some. There will never be anyone else like him.

We read a lot of great things about Dave Brockie today, written by a lot of cool people. But you have Google so we won’t bore you by reprinting them all here. We’ll just print this one, from a 2010 article about GWAR in Decibel magazine, reprinted on Deadspin. It’s from Brad Roberts aka Jizmak Da Gusha, GWAR’s drummer and it sums up Dave pretty well, we think:

I’ve known Brockie since we were little kids going to hardcore shows in the early ’80s. He was always the guy with his shirt off; he always had pit grime all over him. Nobody would drink out of pitchers of beer after he’d been drinking out of them. He would slam dance the wrong way, and everyone fucking hated him. He was chaos incarnate—that was my first impression. But I remember thinking, “He’s nuts. I gotta get in a band with that guy.”

Rest in peace, Dave. And Oderus, safe travels back to your home planet.

We’ll leave you with video of GWAR’s first-ever performance, which we discovered thanks to Boing Boing. They were so freakin’ adorable, weren’t they?

R.I.P. Dave Brockie of GWAR, aka Oderus Urungus

Oderus Urungus of GWAR

Like a lot of people, we just assumed that GWAR front-demon Oderus Urungus would be around forever. Yes, we knew there was an actual human being underneath the codpiece and monster makeup; we’re not fucking five-year-olds. But anyone who could strap on that much plastic armor and latex and churn out buckets of fake blood and real metal night after night for 30 years—we figured that guy was probably just as indestructible as the alien overlord he portrayed.

Turns out we were wrong. Dave Brockie, the man behind Oderus and the heart and soul of GWAR, died yesterday.

At this point, we’re too stunned and depressed to write much more. You can read more details (what few there are) here or here if you’re so inclined. We’ll scrape together a longer tribute to The Man, The Myth, The Scumdog later tonight. But for now, we’ll just be here cranking “Sexecutioner” and crying.

Brace yourselves, Japan: GWAR is about to get Godzilla on your ass

GWAR

In their 28 years on our pathetic excuse for a planet, GWAR has cut a pretty wide swath of destruction. But for reasons that remain murkier than the inside of Oderus’s codpiece, Japan has been spared…until now.

This March, GWAR will play their first-ever* shows in the nation that gave us a shrimp-themed jazz/funk band and a J-pop trio that looks like this. So I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say that the Scumdogs of the Universe will be a big hit in Osaka and Tokyo. Plus, they’re apparently bringing their pet T-Rex Gor-Gor with them, and we all know that if there’s one thing Japanese people love, it’s getting their asses kicked by giant dinosaurs. That and metal played by schoolgirls. Maybe new guitarist Pustulus Maximus can wear a plaid skirt for the occasion.

Even space-traveling demon-gods need to plan their tours efficiently, so GWAR will also be swinging through Australia to play the Soundwave Festival, a touring punk/rock/metal festival with a lineup so good I almost don’t mind that it includes Panic! At the Disco. Almost.

Anyway, for all you folks on the other side of our pathetic excuse for a planet, here are the full dates:

GWAR Australia/Japan Tour

2/22/14: Soundwave Festival Brisbane
2/23/14: Soundwave Festival Sydney
2/28/14: Soundwave Festival Melbourne
3/1/14: Soundwave Festival Adelaide
3/3/14: Soundwave Festival Perth
3/6: Osaka, Japan @ BIG CAT
3/7: Tokyo, Japan @ Akasaka BLITZ

In other news we meant to tell you about sooner: GWAR released their latest album, Battle Maximus, last fall. You can score yourself a copy here and watch the video for “Madness at the Core of Time” below. We can attest from personal experience that yes, that’s really what a GWAR show looks like. Except it’s even grosser in person. Can’t let Oderus spew his demon spunk all over that expensive camera equipment.

*That concert DVD Live From Mt. Fuji? “Recorded in the future!” according to Oderus. Or Pittsburgh, according to Wikipedia.

I want to have kids just so Oderus Urungus can read them a bedtime story

Oderus Urungus of GWAR

I hate children. Spinning around the room screaming like a banshee one minute and then sobbing uncontrollably for no reason the next? That’s my thing, you snot-nosed little punks! And no, you can’t have your ball back.

But I gotta say, I kind of want to sire some offspring just so that every night right before bedtime, I can make them watch this video of GWAR‘s Oderus Urungus reading Goodnight Moon. That shit would be hilarious. The kids would probably be traumatized for life, but you can’t make an omelet without breaking a few eggs.

This video was created by the geniuses at Loudwire and I am seriously pissed that we didn’t think of it first. I think my favorite part is how much Oderus struggles to turn the pages with his giant rubber demon hands. Somebody get that guy a Kindle.

Let us feast on flesh at the GWAR-B-Q

GWAR-B-Q

Getting sprayed with fake blood at a GWAR concert is fun and all, but I bet it pales in comparison to getting sprayed with real blood and/or lighter fluid. And both those things are probably strong possibilities at the 4th Annual GWAR-B-Q, an orgy of loud music and roasted flesh hosted by the greatest alien-god-monster metal band in the universe. Too bad it’s happening in Virginia, or I’d totally go. But I’m pretty sure I still have at least two outstanding warrants in that state. Or was it West Virginia? Either way, I’m out.

But if you’re in that part of the world on Saturday, Aug. 17, you should totally fucking go. In addition to GWAR, the lineup features such stellar purveyors of weird metal as Cannabis Corpse (weed-themed death metal), X-Cops (current and former members of GWAR dressed up as, well, cops) and Kung Fu Dykes (uh…this shit). Also on the bill: the less weird but undeniably awesome Corrosion of Conformity, Municipal Waste, Loincloth and one of my personal favorites, muthafuckin’ Pig Destroyer. Shit is gonna go off, y’all.

Oh, and did we mention they’re also gonna be rolling out the very first GWAR-themed beer, Impaled Ale? Somebody save us a case.

Tickets go on sale June 6th at gwarbq.com. Mark your calendars in the blood of your enemies.