More tour dates and free music from Here Come the Mummies, the hardest-working undead band in show biz

Here Come the Mummies

I guess when you’re undead, you must not need much sleep, because every time we turn around, 4,000-year-old funksters Here Come the Mummies are announcing a new tour and/or releasing new music. Slow down, guys! It’s not like you’re ever going to get too old to keep doing this, right? Stop and smell the flowers once in awhile. Assuming you can smell anything over the musty reek of those 4,000-year-old bandages.

To maintain their status as the hardest-working undead band in show biz, HCTM will be releasing a series of free EPs this year, starting with A La Mode, which they just posted in downloadable form on SoundCloud a few days ago. Here’s one of our favorite A La Mode tracks, a jazzy jam called “Limo Ride.”

They’re also touring their asses off (literally—I hear their asses have been known to actually fall off, along with various other body parts) throughout 2014. Here are the dates they’ve announced so far; more to come, I’m sure.

Here Come the Mummies 2014 tour dates:

3/1 The Fillmore – Detroit, MI
3/7 Culture Room – Ft. Lauderdale, FL
3/8 FunkFest – Punta Gorda, FL
3/14 Bluebird Nightclub – Bloomington, IN
3/15 Zorah Shrine – Terre Haute, IN
4/11 Mercury Ballroom – Louisville, KY
4/12 The Vogue – Indianapolis, IN
4/16 Varsity Theatre – Minneapolis, MN
4/17 Diamond Jo Casino – Dubuque, IA
4/18 Victory Theatre – Evansville, IN
5/2 Engel Stadium – Chattanooga, TN
6/19 State Theatre – Falls Church, VA
6/20 Maryland Live Casino – Hanover, MD
6/21 Mohegan Sun Wolf Den – Uncasville, CT
7/4 Haynes Apperson Festival – Kokomo, IN
7/5 4H Fair – South Bend, IN
8/1 Wisconsin State Fair – West Allis, WI
8/2 Wisconsin State Fair – West Allis, WI
8/8 Piere’s – Fort Wayne, IN
8/9 Riverside Park – Watertown, WI
9/19 Arcada Theatre – St. Charles, IL

Advertisements

Hear (most of) Here Come the Mummies’ new album, “Cryptic”

Here Come the Mummies Cryptic

For some bands, reinventing the wheel would be a form of sacrilege akin to watching an old bluesman suddenly bust out into Justin Bieber song. So we’re happy to report that Cryptic, the sixth album from undead funk-rockers Here Come the Mummies, is pretty much exactly what you’d expect from a band whose previous albums include such WYSIWYG titles as Single Entendre and Bed, Bath and Behind. There are songs are partying, songs about sex, and songs about how too much partying can lead to sex. It’s a sweeping epic about the human condition, really. Baz Luhrmann should buy the film rights.

You can listen to extended clips from all 12 of Cryptic‘s tracks right now on the revamped HCTM website, which has a slick new look and all sorts of interactive features (the fan photos from past shows are especially nifty). And speaking of interactive…here’s a live video of them performing the Cryptic track “Everything But” that was made using the French website Evergig.com, which splices together fan-shot videos into a seamless concert clip. Pretty high-tech for a bunch of dudes who’ve been dead for five thousand years.

Here Come the Mummies just hit their Kickstarter goal. You’re off the hook this time, cheapskates.

HCTM

We’ve asked you, our soft-touch readers, to help out many a weird band via Kickstarter in the past. But this time around, we don’t need to ask. Yes, in just 12 days, Here Come the Mummies have already hit their Kickstarter fundraising goal of $50,069. So everything else from here on out is gravy—but hey, if you wanna give a bunch of horndog Mummies some gravy, be our guest.

All that coin is gonna help fund the release and promotion of Cryptic, the Mummies’ latest and greatest funk bomb of a studio album. It’s due out sometime in May and, as is usually the case, Kickstarter backers get first crack at it. Track titles include “Chaperone,” “Petting Zoo” and “You Know the Drill,” so we can safely assume HCTM have still not exhausted all the endless possibilities of their favorite topic, bumpin’ uglies. (And since these guys have been dead for 4,000 years, the emphasis is definitely on “ugly.”)

Click here to read more about Cryptic and watch one of those cute little Kickstarter videos; this one features the Mummies demonstrating how totally unqualified they are to hold down any kind of day job. We know the feeling, guys! Which is why I’m not sure Jake and I will be pledging anything this time around—although the custom voicemail greeting at $75 is mighty tempting.

Let’s play this post out with some live Mummies. If that’s not a contradiction in terms.

Weirdify Playlist 13: My Freaky Valentine

MyFreakyValentine

Let’s face it: Most love songs suck. If you’re like me, you can’t fire up the Whitney Houston come Valentine’s Day for fear of your lady love punching you in the face (and rightly so, I might add). So what’s a misfit in love to do? Don’t worry, TWBITW is here to help.

These 19 unconventional love songs will help you get your freak on with that special someone—of, if you don’t have a special someone, they’ll make you feel great about being single. Yes, they can do both. They’re just that fucking good.

So fire up your Spotify player, or use the nifty embedded player below, and let’s start the seduction.

Some notes on your listening experience:

1. Leslie Hall, “Power Cuddle.” Our current Weirdo of the Week starts us off with a little heavy petting. Spoiler alert: “Take me to Miami, we can hold handies” is the best lyric in this entire playlist. It’s all downhill from here.

2. Dirty Sanchez, “Give Head & Be Beautiful.” Now that we’ve got the cuddling out of the way, let’s get to the good stuff.

3. Gonken, “Robot Lovin’.” OK, slow jam time. This one goes out to everyone whose significant other is one screw short.

4. Goldie Lookin’ Chain, “You Knows I Loves You.” Wales’ greatest (only?) hip-hop crew puts on the moves. Eat your heart out, R. Kelly.

5. Die Antwoord, “U Make a Ninja Wanna Fuck.” Believe it or not, this is actually the South African rap-ravers’ romantic side. They even quote Tiffany!

6. Here Come the Mummies, “Bed, Bath & Behind.” In which a bunch of funky mummies do the nasty all over your nice furniture. Don’t think about the cleaning bills, just go with it.

7. Baby Seal Club, “Silly Human Sentiment.” If you’re incapable of expressing love without feeling like an idiot, this is the song for you. Also, you might need therapy. Just sayin’.

8. DEVO, “The Day My Baby Gave Me a Surprise.” We’re not really sure what’s wrong with Mark Mothersbaugh’s baby, but it doesn’t sound good. But his devotion sounds undying, which makes this about as close to a pure boy/girl love song as DEVO’s ever likely to write.

9. Barnes and Barnes, “Girl of My Dreams.” The “worried young man” of this song might a stalker, but at least he’s a romantic stalker.

10. The Emotron, “Love Song.” Boy meets cigarettes. Boy loses cigarettes. Boy loses his shit. It’s a love story for the ages.

11. Sparks, “Perfume.” If your girlfriend asks why you didn’t get her any perfume for Valentine’s Day, just play her this song instead. Unless you don’t want to spend your life with her. Then things might get awkward.

12. Nous Non Plus, “Acte Manqué/Freudian Slip.” We have no idea what this song is about, but a boy and a girl singing to each other in French always sounds romantic.

13. The Wet Spots, “Labia Limbo.” We got away from songs about sex for awhile there, didn’t we? Unless that French song is all about fucking like bunnies. Anyway, Canada’s favorite kinky lounge act leaves no doubt what we’re talking about.

14. GWAR, “Sexecutioner.” You know what else this playlist needs? Some whip-crack and barnyard animal sound effects. Also, some metal. And genital wart and golden shower references in a ridiculously bad fake European accent. Now we’re ready for sexytime.

15. Anti-Nowhere League, “Woman.” Our old pal Army of Gay Unicorns recommended this track to us, and it is indeed the most romantic hardcore ’80s punk song we’ve ever heard, not to mention a harrowingly accurate depiction of marriage. (Love you, honey!) Also, the lead singer impersonates Animal from the Muppets, which is always a bonus.

16. The Residents, “Perfect Love.” Wise words from the patron saints of Weirdest Band in the World. Remember this song when you’re home alone crying this Thursday.

17. The Tiger Lillies, “My Funny Valentine.” When performed by our favorite Goth-punk cabaret trio with a full orchestra, the inherent twistedness of this old show tune really comes through. Did he really just call his lady love “unphotographable”? That’s some cold shit right there, Rodgers & Hart.

18. Klaus Nomi, “Valentine’s Day.” Shout-out to reader Adela for reminding us about this thematically appropriate (albeit indecipherable) song from the late, great synth-pop counter-tenor’s unfinished masterpiece, Za Bakdaz.

19. Ween, “Sweetheart.” After you’ve finished ravishing your lover and/or lotion collection with the sensual sounds of this playlist, you’ll probably want to lie back in post-coital bliss and crank some smooth, sweet yacht-rock, courtesy of the only band we’ve ever blogged about that’s done anything even remotely resembling a Boz Scaggs record. Happy Valentine’s Day, y’all!

Weird Live Review: Here Come the Mummies

Add to FacebookAdd to DiggAdd to Del.icio.usAdd to StumbleuponAdd to RedditAdd to BlinklistAdd to TwitterAdd to TechnoratiAdd to Yahoo BuzzAdd to Newsvine

I don’t mind telling you, it was with some trepidation that I went out to see Here Come the Mummies last Thursday night. And not just because they were playing at the House of Blues on the Sunset Strip, which is easily my least favorite part of Los Angeles. The strip used to be sleazy/cool, still hungover from its hair metal heyday. Now it’s sleazy/lame, filled with marauding gangs of douchebags in Ed Hardy shirts and semi-homeless ex-reality TV stars chain smoking outside SkyBar. They’ve really let the place go.

No, the main reason I was afraid to see Here Come the Mummies was because, frankly, I feared they might suck. Songs like “Freak Flag” and “Everlasting Party” are fun the first couple times you hear them, but it’s hard to shake the feeling that underneath the bandages and facepaint lurks a group of dudes who aren’t too far removed from playing “Brick House” at weddings in rented tuxes.

Well, I needn’t have worried. Though there’s a definite layer of cheese to the Mummies, and their fans mostly have less hair than actual mummies (seriously, usually when you see that many middle-aged white people in Los Angeles in one place, someone’s handing out Emmys), they are great musicians and their show was tighter than, well, mummy skin. Four songs in and I was sold. Eleven songs in, when they broke out a track called “Booty,” and the chubby tenor sax player with the dreads starting busting out some serious hip-thrusting dance moves, I was awkwardly hip-thrusting with all the other middle-aged white folks.

The photos pretty much speak for themselves, but I’ll note a few details that my crappy iPhone camera wasn’t quite able to capture. They entered conga-line-style through the audience. Their percussionist, Java, broke out everything from a tricycle to the infamous Cowbelt to get the crowd involved. There were synchronized dance moves, jackal statues with red LED eyes, a keytar solo or two, and an audience participation dance called the “Fenk Shui.” (And yes, I participated. Trust me, you would’ve, too.) Oh, and their horn section killed. Even the obligatory flute solo had soul.

So I’m sorry I ever doubted you, Mummies! You are indeed the funkiest undead band in the land. Now can you send a plague of locusts or something to get rid of all the Ed Hardy tools taking up valuable sidewalk space on Sunset?

By the way, here are the rest of HCTM’s tour dates. If you live anywhere in the middle part of the country, you should really go see them. They will make you awkwardly hip-thrust with wild, gleeful abandon.

Mummies for nothing: Get a free album download from Here Come the Mummies

Add to FacebookAdd to DiggAdd to Del.icio.usAdd to StumbleuponAdd to RedditAdd to BlinklistAdd to TwitterAdd to TechnoratiAdd to Yahoo BuzzAdd to Newsvine

You gotta set the funk free, don’t you? If that’s not a P-Funk lyric, it should be. With that in mind, undead funketeers Here Come the Mummies are making their latest album, Bed, Bath & Behind, free for a limited time (today and tomorrow only) via NoiseTrade. So get downloadin’ and savor the sweet, funky sounds of freedom. And be sure to leave a tip—which I guess technically means the album ain’t free any more, but tipping sounds more fun than paying, doesn’t it? Just imagine you’re sticking a few bucks in the Mummies’ Cowbelts.

In other HCTM news: The Bandaged Boys are gearing up for their latest U.S. tour, and Andy and I plan to be on hand for their L.A. show to shake a leg and give you, dear readers, a full report. Well, Andy will give you a report; I’ll probably be stumbling down Sunset Blvd. looking for a cab and wondering where my pants went. That bastard always ditches me after the 10th Jäger bomb.

I’ll play this post out with a live rendition of “That’s What She Said,” one of the many tasty morsels on that free album you should be downloading already. Enjoy.

Here Come the Mummies announce “If the Clown Shoe Fits” tour

Add to FacebookAdd to DiggAdd to Del.icio.usAdd to StumbleuponAdd to RedditAdd to BlinklistAdd to TwitterAdd to TechnoratiAdd to Yahoo BuzzAdd to Newsvine

Anubis be praised! (No? Not an Egyptology crowd tonight? Fine…) Here Come the Mummies are bringing their reanimated funk back on the road…and this time, for the first time in like, forever (well, OK, for as long as we’ve known about them, which to be fair has only been about a year), they’re playing a show here in L.A.! Jake and I will be there with bandages and corpse paint on, baby, ready to let our freak flags fly.

But wait, the news gets cooler. HCTM are also pulling a Louis C.K. and selling tickets directly through their website, keeping convenience charges low and throwing in a few perks like a $5 gift certificate to the Mummies online store. Pretty savvy for a bunch of dudes who’ve been dead for 3,000 years.

Here are the full dates for what they’ve dubbed the “If the Clown Shoe Fits” tour. Clowns and mummies? It’s like the birthday party I was so cruelly denied as a six-year-old.

Sep 21     Toledo, OH     Headliners
Sep 22     Urbana, IL     Canopy Club
Oct 4     West Hollywood, CA     House of Blues
Oct 5     Santa Ynez, CA     Chumash Casino Resort
Oct 6     Las Vegas, NV     Hard Rock Las Vegas
Oct 7     Tucson, AZ     Rialto Theatre
Oct 11     Nashville, TN     Live On The Green
Oct 12     Bloomington, IN     The Bluebird
Oct 13     St. Louis, MO     The Pageant
Oct 14     Lincoln, NE     Rococo Theatre
Oct 18     Lexington, KY     Buster’s Billiards & Backroom
Oct 19     Ft. Wayne, IN     Pierre’s
Oct 20     Mansfield, OH     Renaissance Theatre
Oct 25     Madison, WI     Majestic Theatre
Oct 26     Onamia, MN     Grand Casino Mille Lacs
Oct 27     Hinkley, MN     Grand Casino Amphitheater
Nov 1     Joliet, IL     MoJoes
Nov 2     Macomb, IL     COFAC Recital Hall
Nov 3     Dubuque, IA     Diamond Jo Casino
Nov 10     Cincinnati, OH     Taft Theatre
Nov 16     Indianapolis, IN     Vogue Theater
Nov 17     South Bend, IN     Club Fever