Weird bands on St. Paddy’s Day: Naked & Shameless in Long Beach, Extreme Turbo Smash in Denver

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If you plan on celebrating St. Patrick’s Day in either Denver or Long Beach, California (or Tha LBC, as us hood rats like to call it), we’ve got great news for you. You’ll have weird bands playing! Sorry, Rest of the Earth. As far as we know, you’re shit out of luck.

Those of y’all in Denver can celebrate that proud Irish tradition of getting fucked up to thrash-style metal played by dudes in furry animal costumes. Yes, Extreme Turbo Smash, America’s best and (as far as we know) only furrycore band is on the bill at KBPI’s Shamrocks and Shenanigans party, along with a bunch of bands we honestly never heard of before but we’re sure are pretty excellent by Denver standards. It all goes down at the Summit Music Hall starting at 4 p.m. and—get this—tickets are just $1.67. You’ll actually save money by going—just think of all the porn you won’t be downloading while you’re out of the house! (Or maybe that’s just me.)

Meanwhile, in Long Beach, St. Paddy’s Day revelers can get serenaded table-side by California’s drunkest acoustic kitsch-rock duo, Naked & Shameless (that’s them in the pic above, in all their kitsch-rock glory). They’ll be playing an early set at 4 p.m. at Max Steiner’s. It’s a sports bar, so you can stay for March Madness and sober up (or keep drinking for all I care…I’m not your mother).

However you celebrate the patron saint of the Emerald Isle, have fun and don’t do anything (too) stupid. Let’s play this post out with a nice little N&S drinking song, shall we?

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Naked & Shameless

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Greetings, weirdlings. Once again, your votes have landed another band on our carefully tended Weird List. So pat yourselves on the back and give it up for Naked & Shameless, the undisputed punk kings of acoustic kitsch rock! (It says so, right on their website.)

We first learned about these roaring drunks right from the horse’s mouth, so to speak. Buck F. Naked (BFN, to his friends) wrote to us and proposed that we blog about him and his partner, Dave Shameless, and their “brand of Good Times and Strange Salvation.” After a little spirited back and forth on the relative merits of Buck’s band and our website, we finally agreed to a truce and decided to give our readers (or Naked & Shameless’s fans, who—let’s not kid ourselves here—probably outnumber our readers) to vote on whether N&S were weird enough for us. Over 90% of you said, “Hell yes.” So here we are.

Now at first glance, Naked and Shameless might not seem all that weird. They play stripped-down rockabilly-influenced rock (“drunkabilly,” they call it—catchy!), wear Hollywood cowboy hats and Elvis shades, and sing wacky Mojo Nixon-ish songs about what one song neatly sums up as the “Four Food Groups”: caffiene, nicotine, alcohol and pussy. (Mostly alcohol.) Every rockabilly bar in America probably has a house band like this, right?

But it’s at their live shows (or so we hear—haven’t made it out to one ourselves yet) that N&S really bring on the weirdness. There are inflatable bananas. There’s vomit. There’s “pan-substance wrestling,” which apparently consists of Buck finding willing young things in the audience and tussling with them in vats of mud, beer, BBQ sauce or whatever else is handy. Buck’s also been known to drink everything behind the bar, including the cleaning supplies. So there’s a little G.G. Allin in these guys, too…if G.G. were more of a happy drunk and less of a violent, drug-fueled psychopath.

Oh, and then there’s this: Buck married beer. No, really. There was a ceremony with its own website and everything. And by all accounts, their union is still a happy one. So kudos to you, Buck and beer! Turns out some things in this world were meant to last.

Anyhow, here’s a video of Buck’s “I drink everything” stunt, which we really hope is either a clever deception or not something he does much anymore. That can’t be good for the stomach lining. Also, what would beer say? Probably, it’d call you an unfaithful bastard, Buck. And rightly so!

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