We were turned on (no pun intended) to today’s weird band by my friend Julia, who knows people in that whole polyamory community—you know, the people we used to called “swingers,” before they decided to develop a whole code of ethics and openness and mutual consent and take all the fun out of sleeping around. (I kid, I kid! Polyamory rocks, if that’s your thing. I can barely handle one intimate relationship at a time, but that’s just me.) Anyway, apparently this duo called The Wet Spots is pretty popular with the poly crowd—as well they should be. I mean, being kinky has always sounded like fun—but rarely has it sounded this totally adorable and non-threatening, too.
The Wet Spots are a husband and wife duo from Vancouver—yes, they’re Canadian, which makes sense given that Canada is easily the most adorable and non-threatening nation in the Western Hemisphere. Before they were the Wet Spots, Cass King was a sex columnist, and John Woods played in punk bands. Now they present themselves as sort of a hotel lounge act that does breezy, jazzy songs about anal sex, fisting, foot fetishes, polyamory and pretty much anything else you can think of that any combination of healthy, open-minded folks might do to get each other off. It’s like Cole Porter meets Penthouse Forum, except the girls get to come more. And the Cole Porter stand-in isn’t wearing any pants.
To get a sense a better sense of The Wet Spots’ unique mix of naughty and nice, there’s a clip of them doing a show at Burning Man in 2008 that’s pretty fun. (You’ll know they’re really at Burning Man about 25 seconds in, when a dude in Mad Max drag walks through the frame looking for a seat.) But to really hear them at their most outrageous, we just had to present the official video for their most famous song, “Do You Take It?” Totally NSFW…and totally adorable. Oh, Canada.
- The Wet Spots official site (Note: Literally as we were writing this, the entire site was replaced with an “Account Suspended” screen. Looks like somebody
‘s a prudeforgot to pay their domain hosting bill!)(Newer note: It’s back up again. Whew!)
- The Wet Spots on MySpace
- The Wet Spots on Facebook
- The Wet Spots Work Up a Blather (Wet Spots official blog)
I never thought I’d say this, but I envy the folks in Keshena, Wisconsin right now. Not because I have any great burning desire to escape the big city for the simple life of a podunk small town that’s frozen tundra nine months of the year and a mosquito-infested armpit the other three. No, I envy the cheese-eating yokels of Keshena because starting tomorrow night, for three amazing nights, they are going to get treated to the awesome rock ‘n’ sequins spectacle that is Rick K. & The Allnighters—American’s Most Exciting Show Band!
Now let’s face it: cheesy cover bands are as American as deep-fried Twinkies, and about half as cheap. And Rick K and his little band of classic-song-murdering stage bandits are about as cheesy as they come. So why, you may ask, are we gracing them with a place in our hallowed shrine to Weird Bands? One reason and one reason only: they have a drummer named Steve Moore, and the guy is a fucking madman.
If Steve were poundng the skins in say, Iron Maiden, he’d actually fit right in, and we’d just be all, “You totally crushed it, dude” and move on. But because he’s in this cheesy…no, let’s be honest here…fucking terrible “show band,” he sticks out like Keith Moon at my Aunt Trudy’s needlepoint club. Someone please rescue this man, shave his head, give him some tatts and a sleeveless Motorhead tee and at least find him a nice ’80s metal cover band to bash away in. Right now, it’s like watching a Rottweiler at the chihauhua kennel.
By the way, those June 3-5 shows in Keshena will be at the Menominee Casino-Bingo-Hotel. After that RK&tAN will be truckin’ on to Hinckley, Minnesota; Carmel, Indiana; and West Milford, West Virginia. Fucking L.A….we never get the good shows.