Nicaragua’s leading gay alien Madonna impersonator Donny Varper is back and bringing the crazy in a new video we can’t stop watching. “Material Boy” starts with Donny wandering the desert in harem girl drag and ends with him crucified on what appears to be the rhinestone-encrusted dollar sign from a D-list rapper’s chain. Also, there’s something on his crotch we can’t quite identify—although not being able to identify things in the crotchular area on Donny Varper is kind of a given. Basically, it’s what we were hoping the Madonna Grammy performance would be like, instead of whatever that vogue-ing matador bullshit was she laid on us instead. At least at the BRIT Awards, they got to watch her eat it.
The video can’t be embedded. Why, Donny, why?! Don’t fear the embed. But fine, you can watch the goddamn thing on YouTube.
Donny keeps promising to answer some of our questions…and oh yes, we have questions…in a video interview, if we can just get our shit together and send him some damn questions. It’ll happen eventually, we promise.
We haven’t been posting as much lately, I know. What can I say? Life shit. But when our old Ohio hip-hop pal Mission Man tweeted us his latest video, we just had to share it with you folks out there in Readerland. (By the way, don’t panic: Mission Man did not die in 2012. That’s just a copyright date range in the above graphic. He’s alive and well and still rockin’ the mic.)
MM’s vid for “Love, Funk and Soul” makes us happy, and not just because it features more cowbell. Mainly, it gives us a case of the warm fuzzies because it proves what we’ve long suspected, but seen precious little evidence of: Mission Man has fans. In the clip, they can be seen taking selfies with him, partying with him, throwing snowballs at him, and, at around the 1:08 mark, getting up onstage and dancing with him. Dude’s grind is definitely starting to pay off. Let this be an inspiration to us all.
Hey, so remember how we took that looooong break a couple months back? Well, contrary to Internet rumor, it wasn’t just because we went off our meds. (That was just me.) The main reason it happened was because my partner Andy got himself a fancy-pants new job as the music editor for LA Weekly. They still come out once a week in newsprint form, which seems kinda last century to me, but everyone I talk to assures me it’s still a pretty big deal. So yeah, you should all congratulate him and shit.
Anyway, this means Andy now gets to sneak some weird content onto the LA Weekly website from time to time. He was freelancing for them before, so he’s already gotten some weirdness on there, but now that he’s a shot caller it may become a regular thing. Our devious scheme to spread weird music to the masses is coming to fruition!
So here’s the first weird train pulling out of the LA Weekly station on Andy’s watch: a recap of 10 of our favorite weird videos from the past year. Yeah, Andy threw “Turn Down for What” in there, but the rest of it’s pretty out there for a website that still puts itself into newsprint form once a week.
Andy’s still trying to impress his bosses, so be sure to check out the full list on LAWeekly.com so they gets lots of page views and shit. Maybe you could even leave a comment or tweet it or post a selfie of you jerking off to it on Snapchat or whatever you damn kids do these days. Basically, just spread the word, K?
We had a feeling that after their last video, the Yo Gabba Gabba-esque “Public Enemy,” Russian rap-ravers Little Big were going to return to the dark side. And boy did they ever. “Dead Unicorn,” their latest, combines child rape, skin suspension, human centipedes and the Saw movies with, well, unicorns. Dead ones. It’s hard to watch and you won’t be able to look away.
Sorry you can’t unsee that.
On the brighter side: Little Big have promised some European tour dates in February and March, culminating in an appearance at the Paaspop Festival in the Netherlands April 3-5. Given the current shitty state of affairs between Russia and the U.S., we’re not holding our breath for any Stateside dates, but maybe—like a magical, non-sewn-together-from-dead-bodies unicorn—they’ll pleasantly surprise us.
Polish hip-hop duo Donatan and Cleo went back down to the farm for their latest single/video, “BRAĆ,” and you know what that means: More high-sterical combinations of Polish rural life and hip-hop video clichés. Sexy vixens washing an old tractor like it’s a Bentley? Check! Old Polish dudes doing vodka shots like they’re sipping Cristal in the club? Check! Roosters wandering around for no reason? Checkity-check-check, baby. Slavschool in full effect!
The new video also features a new collaborator: A Polish/Ukrainian band called Enej, who bring the requisite Slavic folk flavor to the proceedings by way of a little gypsy-punk accordion and horns. Here’s what they usually sound like, so we gotta say, Donatan does a good job recasting them in a hip-hop context.
Any kid who’s ever gone to Disneyland has probably been dragged by their parents to the park’s least entertaining attraction, Great Moments With Mr. Lincoln, at which a creepily dead-eyed Abe Lincoln animatronic intones bits and pieces of the celebrated president’s most famous speeches. If you were ever one of those kids, you’ll probably get a kick out of Negativland‘s latest bit of pop-culture appropriation, “Right Might,” which uses chopped-up outtakes from Disney’s Lincoln voice recordings to deliver a goofily incoherent and frequently interrupted imperialist screed.
The backstory of “Right Might” is maybe even more entertaining than the track itself (which you can stream below). A few years ago, a Disney insider offered to send Negativland a bootleg copy of the Disney audio archives, which included outtakes from most of Disneyland and Disney World’s various theme park ride soundtracks. The corporate prankster eventually sent the Negativland guys nearly 100 CD-R’s filled with sound effects and voiceovers from decommissioned Disney rides, as well as various outtakes, bloopers and alternate takes from rides still in use. Among the treasures never before heard outside the Mouse House: hours of raw, unedited studio recordings of actor Royal Dano declaiming what would become the speeches for Great Moments With Mr. Lincoln.
“Right Might” will appear on Negativland’s first album in six years, It’s All in Your Head, out Oct. 28th on the band’s own Seeland Records.
MC Frontalot‘s new album Question Bedtime mostly features fairy tales unfamiliar to us folks raised on Mother Goose and the Brothers Grimm. On those few occasions when the good MC does take on a more well-worn story, he always flips the script on it. Case in point: “Gold Locks,” which imagines what the story of Goldilocks and the Three Bears would sound like as a bedtime story told to young bears. Needless to say, from the bears’ perspective, Goldilocks (played by rapper Jean Grae) is a horrible monster who, if you’re not good, will sneak into your house and eat all your food. And you, if you’re not careful.
For now, the video is an Entertainment Weekly exclusive, so you’ll have to cruise over to EW.com to watch it there. It’s OK, boo, you’re allowed to see other websites.
In other Frontalot news: Having just conquered America, he’s off to Europe next. Here are those dates:
9/24 in Southampton, EN @ Talking Heads
9/25 in Newton Abbot, EN @ The Jolly Farmer
9/26 in Perranporth, EN @ Watering Hole
9/28 in Bristol, EN @ Thekla
9/29 in Swansea, Wales @ Sin City
9/30 in Stourbridge, EN @ The River Rooms
10/1 in St. Albans, EN @ The Horn
10/2 in High Wycombe, Buckinghamshire @ Bucks Student Union
10/3 in Bedford, EN @ Esquires Beford
10/4 in Hatfield, EN @ Forum Hertfordshire
10/8 in Cork, IR @ Cyprus Avenue
10/9 in Dublin, IR @ Café En Sein
10/10 in Newry, UK @ Magnet Young Adult Center
10/11 in Sligo, IR @ 5th on Teeling
10/13 in Holyhead, EN @ Canolfan Ucheldre Centre
10/14 in Liverpool, EN @ East Village Arts Club
10/15 in Manchester, EN @ Manchester Academy
10/16 in Wakefield, EN @ Warehouse 23
10/17 in Cleethorpes, EN @ The Beachcomber
10/18 in Newcastle upon Tyne @ Think Tank in Riverside
10/19 in Glasgow, Scotland @ O2 ABC 2
10/20 in Blackburn, Lancashire @ King Georges Hall
10/21 in Stoke on Trent @ The Sugarmill
10/22 in Guilford, EN @ Boileroom
10/23 in Southend On Sea, EN @ Chinnery’s
10/24 in London, EN @ The Garage
10/25 in Milton Keynes @ The Craufurd Arms